sometimes like today
somteimes it's good to just do and not think ... not that we can help thinking but routine can sometimes be a good way to keep the mind entertained ... but then, of course, as i am doing now, we get side track and the mind starts to do its thing ...
{and} i get side tracked ... thinking maybe about this or that guy I met ... the body reacts ... its another way to not think ... get the cock hard thinking about this boy or the other ... Andrea the the blond Venetian who is passionate and a great kisser-all body, and touch and smell ... or Greg the cute sub Greek with the plump ass and begs to be rimmed and fucked and it's all mechanical ... or sweet femme Dan who wants to date ... or whoever else ... or just a memory ...
so long since my mind wandered and my heart lusted like this that it's like a fresh new thing ... what's so special about today ... hmm, one wonders ... time and distance do their thing, don't they ... and fantasies have a way of fizzling away on their own ... love remain eternal and beyond understanding ... the many loves and love failures ... the realization that a companion, although desired and wanted, is not really needed ...
I always go back to that Japanese boy i met so, so many years ago when I was so much younger and he was so much young himself yet full of wisdom ... and his philosophical conversations ... one on need and want ... how the body and feelings trick us into "needing" what they want ... and so we confuse want with need ... and his other favorite was how we mask our baser want behind the "nobility" of feelings--a topic for another day ...
but all these thoughs just wander in and out as I go about my day ... those and many others, including the ones that have been boxed away neatly never to be touched again ... it's my strength and perhaps my weakness: my ability to shut someone out including all feelings attached to them ... I don't know where they go or how it happens, but it does ... it's as if the heart vomitted ... the space does not get filled again ... it remains empty, untouched, unseen ... the wonders of the human mind do not cease to amaze me.
{and} i get side tracked ... thinking maybe about this or that guy I met ... the body reacts ... its another way to not think ... get the cock hard thinking about this boy or the other ... Andrea the the blond Venetian who is passionate and a great kisser-all body, and touch and smell ... or Greg the cute sub Greek with the plump ass and begs to be rimmed and fucked and it's all mechanical ... or sweet femme Dan who wants to date ... or whoever else ... or just a memory ...
so long since my mind wandered and my heart lusted like this that it's like a fresh new thing ... what's so special about today ... hmm, one wonders ... time and distance do their thing, don't they ... and fantasies have a way of fizzling away on their own ... love remain eternal and beyond understanding ... the many loves and love failures ... the realization that a companion, although desired and wanted, is not really needed ...
I always go back to that Japanese boy i met so, so many years ago when I was so much younger and he was so much young himself yet full of wisdom ... and his philosophical conversations ... one on need and want ... how the body and feelings trick us into "needing" what they want ... and so we confuse want with need ... and his other favorite was how we mask our baser want behind the "nobility" of feelings--a topic for another day ...
but all these thoughs just wander in and out as I go about my day ... those and many others, including the ones that have been boxed away neatly never to be touched again ... it's my strength and perhaps my weakness: my ability to shut someone out including all feelings attached to them ... I don't know where they go or how it happens, but it does ... it's as if the heart vomitted ... the space does not get filled again ... it remains empty, untouched, unseen ... the wonders of the human mind do not cease to amaze me.