casual observation

recently chatting with someone i actualy admire, i got to thinking about how other's may see me--do they see me as a miserable, unhappy, envious person? if so, what have i done to provoke those thoughts?? ... made me wonder ...

i am in search of something ... trying to bring my life to a balance that includes a satisfying job, which i have, a loving partner, which will come, and friends, which i have ... i am not wealthy, can't boast about having a fabulous and exciting life, but it's a life that i am content with for the most part ... and as for personal growth, we are all in our journey--no one is perfect -- but one thing i definitely know about myself is that, for any number of failings i may have, envy and jealouse are not among them ... i do not covet the happiness or fortune of others, after all, that is theirs based on their particular journey ... yes, I see happy couples and i wish i was one in one of those happy couples but i by no means wish any evil on those couples ... and as for material possessions, i am not particularly attached to them nor desire them ... if i can have them fine -- and if not, fine too ... same goes for money and the things money brings ... i don't think anyone i know can provide an example where i have been envious of someone else's good fortune in any shape or form ...

so i was a bit taken by surprise by the rather undeserved stab--if indeed it was meant for me ...

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