A shift in values ... At last
So this morning I get an email from a potential FB ... Apparently he backed off because he feels bad after an encounter-- a sort of post hook-up hangover as he put it. And he is not the first one. Another guy who I regularly met for casual sex got all mental and finally fell off the radar. He was becoming emotionally involved and I was not looking for that with him.
So I now have to train a new one to take his place. This one has potential and is a good little white sub ... don't know that he will like getting slapped or pissed on but we will see ....
But not the point here... I do understand his those guys felt just casually hooking up for sex but not getting what they wanted: real intimacy!! And not the pretend intimacy that comes from casually hooking up or even the FWB thing where friendship and/or hanging out is added.
These guys want the full package and are not settling for less ... I also want that but in the mean time prefer to have a regular FB to the random hooking up ... The FWB thing doesn't work for me since I think it keeps you emotionally stunted and potential mates are driven away by the dynamic ... And anyway, I'm not in college anymore for those emotional twists and turn games ...
The good news is that there seems to be a change taking place in gay culture ... Seems guys are beginning to place more value on an emotionally sustainable tie than the random sexual gratification or the loosey goosey FWB thing typical of the emotionally immature. I see this happening in men both young and mature and it is a good thing!!! Finally we can go back to dating and looking for relationship and not appear to be some sort of queer withing the queer culture.
So I now have to train a new one to take his place. This one has potential and is a good little white sub ... don't know that he will like getting slapped or pissed on but we will see ....
But not the point here... I do understand his those guys felt just casually hooking up for sex but not getting what they wanted: real intimacy!! And not the pretend intimacy that comes from casually hooking up or even the FWB thing where friendship and/or hanging out is added.
These guys want the full package and are not settling for less ... I also want that but in the mean time prefer to have a regular FB to the random hooking up ... The FWB thing doesn't work for me since I think it keeps you emotionally stunted and potential mates are driven away by the dynamic ... And anyway, I'm not in college anymore for those emotional twists and turn games ...
The good news is that there seems to be a change taking place in gay culture ... Seems guys are beginning to place more value on an emotionally sustainable tie than the random sexual gratification or the loosey goosey FWB thing typical of the emotionally immature. I see this happening in men both young and mature and it is a good thing!!! Finally we can go back to dating and looking for relationship and not appear to be some sort of queer withing the queer culture.