LookerQ LookerQG

what is a dream? the desires that lurk in the deeper recesses of our being materialized, personified? our hopes, wishes, wants and even fears? is that all that a dream is? covered by the night's darkest veil, we give life to the life that is within ... seeking solace in a nether world, our mind creates a fanciful play ... which is the life we live and which is the dream? the longings, games and peoples that inhabit our inner world take shape ... all create their own Potemkin  village of love and joy and fear ... do I follow you in this or that dream? I have been following you always and will always do in some exotic land the sun does shine, and I reside in you and you in me ... like in a dream and not a dream and I do follow you into your house, and it's the only house I know even sight unseen so does this earth do turn and tumble, the tenuous thread that binds is stronger than that will to scape the dreams that fill the gap the clock is ticking, furiously ticking ... an...

Hi G. The Devilish Side Of Your Personality Will Entice You To Do Something That You Normally Would Not Do, Possibly Luring You Down The Wrong Road... But, There Is A Positive Side, Which Is Cutting Yourself Loose And Living For The Moment… The Story About Pan In Mythic Tarot and Greek Mythology, you meet Pan (the god of the mountain wilds, and rustic music). Pan was half man and half goat, born with horns, a beard, a tail, and goat-legs. In some legends, it is said that Hermes (the messenger of the gods) fathered a child with the nymph, Dryope (the daughter of king Dryops). Pan was born very ugly, and his mother ran away from her child because she was terrified at the sight of her new born son. Hermes took his son to Olympus, and showed him off to the gods. Meanwhile, Pan grew up and wondered the forests, caves, mountains, streams and pastures and became a musician, playing his reed pipes and the syrinx. He loved poetry, and danced with the nymphs, and he was known as the god...

with the night comes another day, another week, another month, another year the end that is no end at all, the beginning that creeps in the night is as long as the day seems short the beauty in the darkest night brings forth the brightest light of day the longing that with each day begins grows deeper with the fall of night we're moved, our spirit stirred by the shadows that play against our thoughts

Hi G**. The Hanged Man calls today to remind you to pause for a breath. The Hanged Man can represent many things. Today he is reminding you that you have the opportunity to step into stillness, to look deep within and let the answers come to you. You are being reminded to get a new perspective, let the blood rush to your head! Clear out the old and create space for the new! This card is about letting go to need to control, surrender, surrender, surrender! Allow the universe to work her magic! You my love, are on path. Take a moment to step out of time and space, meditate, relax, and trust in your soul! The Hanged Man is suspended in time, but he is relaxed, he has the deepest trust in his path. There is no fear, there is only love. And the Hanged man is surrounded by love! As are you. You can relax, you have nothing to worry about. You are feeling a bit blue many or are a stand still, this card comes to tell you to honor how you feel. This card shows up today to remind y...

Something wakes me the brings me To another set of thoughts The longing that the dreams of late Have chosen The feeling that wakes me The energy that runs through The face that wakes me The desires that run through The body is calling, so is the heart

"The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature." :: Joseph Campbell

Love, true love, soul mate ... perhaps all words ... how do you know true love? I guess when no matter what your mind tells you, what your body tells you, there is the deeper knowledge that you have found the person with whom you can connect ... where there is a deeper connection and knowledge that goes beyond what the eyes see and the ears hear ... it is waking up in the middle of the night to find yourself connected to that someone ... it the energy, the strength you get from that someone regardless of where you are physically ... and if you find this, what do you do?

" ... it was then I understood that my body is only a reflection of my internal state." Anita Moorjani

Never let doubt stop you from taking action. Make all the decisions you need to make and act on them even when you're not completely sure you've made the right decision. :: Paulo Coelho

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people. ::Carl Jung

When a heart withers It dries like the autumn leaves And flies by the whims of the wind When a heart withers The love it harbored is transformed And an echo fills its chambers When a heart withers The sweet honey hidden in a memory Can't feed the body's hungers When a heart withers The tenderest affections May keep hope's doors opened When a heart withers The closeness of two bodies Is not a palliative for a wanting spirit When a heart withers The love hidden in the deepest core Ceases to flow.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people. ~Carl Jung the understanding that the mask in the mirror is my reflection and yet not that the undercurrent of weakness that I see in you are the many faces that I fear in myself; to know that your weakness is the weakness I fear and that in me became my baseline strength, that I instinctively shunned my weakness by striking first that twisting the arm of the other served to hide my fear that even hidden behind a veil of guilt, was the satisfaction to see their tears.

Man should never cease to dream. Dreaming is as nourishing to the soul as food is for the body. --Paulo Coelho

Wood Dragons also are willing to entertain the opinions of others. Their artistic side is strong, and Wood Dragons enjoy being creative and innovative. They get along with others, but will always be the dominating force. The dragon's fire is turned to passions its breath the smoke that reveals it all. Its words the fire with which it builds its palace its energy born out of the earth's burning core.

Hi G***. The Path Of Temperance Asks You To Take A Look At Your Shadow Side And Be Honest With Yourself And Others… You Also Need To Look At You’re Imperfections And Tendency To Over Perform That May Take You By Surprise. You Need To Live In Moderation To Stay Balanced And Healthy… My Interpretation Of Temperance The Temperance card represents the balance of your spirit, mind and body. The tranquil whisper of your spirit cleanses your soul, rejuvenating and healing your emotional being by penetrating your core and leading to the balance that is so necessary. After all, being honest with yourself and others will bring you to a balanced middle ground, and always remember that moderation in everything you do is vital. Of all of the Tarot cards, Temperance most reflects the virtues of balance and healing, which require you to love and take care of yourself. Temperance requires you to take it easy and ponder all decisions well before acting. At times, you will find yourself impatien...

A dream dream dream that wakes me Anger's face telling me it's cold cold cold places I do not recognize One built by anger, and of resentment made There is no light in it So many questions personified as mice What was once disdain is now questions and regret A void of trust separates- it's the loneliness of that burns most.

It isn't the night that I fear, longer each one More so the morning with it's wilful lust Defending each moment with its logic Breaking each hour with a hammer, pounding it Shattering my words like finest glass

Dreamweaver weave me a dream take each of the strands that flow from my heart and weave me a net stronger than the strongest metal and as malleable as the ocean's waves. Dreamweaver weave me a dream cast out your net and keep hold of my spirit and dream me away to the farthest land-- take me on another journey of wonder. Dreamweaver weave me a dream as real as the fantasy that keeps me awake as real as the blood that flows through my body it's another beginning I yearn for, not an end to forget.

The night trickles away in a shroud of memories The darkness hides the ghosts that speed the hours In my thoughts, the endless loop of words and images The heart that beats away the sleeplessness Grows stronger with the passing silence There is no beginning to remember nor an end to forget.

hunger doesn't always require food ... there are synaptic challenges that make our body want to feel satiated ... sometimes sex helps ... or the company of an other ... but sometimes the hunger is like an infinite void, no delicacy will satiate it, nor will the hunkiest hunk and less so the well meaning friend ... this is a hunger for which no food exist ... it's not a hunger of the body nor the mind not even the heart ... this is the hunger of our very core, of our spirit demanding that we move, that we act, that we find the place where our happiness lies, the love that we know exists for us ... you may devour a banquet or give in to desire once or ten fold, but this hunger remains until you move ... or it eats you away

Letters and words, spaces and silences Periods, coma, colon The perpetual guardians of all feelings The laugh, the tear, the gentle nudge require the use of a semi colon; For love it's always periods. The page is filled with symbols: The disconnected reality of the heart.

all is but an echo, a speck of dust in time all memories fade, all feelings dissolve every coincidence is but a happenstance in the schemes of time every glance a reflection, every voice lost in the wind's current every seed germinates.

lost in the echo of a thought the words that drip away into the heart the artifice that the words cast forth the words missing from the page

in the counsel of envy, hearts are blocked the emptiness of resentment brings about the darkest clouds in the counsel of evil, the spirit is crushed and love is consumed by the logic of hatred in the counsel of destruction, darkness is summoned loneliness bubbles up from the deepest core the eyes of the Wicked burn bright with joy, their only satisfaction, the unsatisfied hunger for love. in the counsel of the wicked, darkness is felt it calls forth obsessors to trap their prey in a prison of confusion. In the counsel of the egoists, love is but a pawn the lonely and the forlorn feed their hunger for love with whims of desire.

The hour wasted in thoughts The drafting of words to erase memories The ongoing tic tic ticking of the clock The images that trickle in and out The maddening song of the siren

What lies behind the glass? The smallest hours ticking The dreams that reign in voices The flowing thoughts that create rumblings in our minds The colors hidden in the mirror The repetition of the one we love There's so much more to the hour!

courage is the will to take a leap of faith

The course of true love never did run smooth. ~~William Shakespeare True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding. ~~Ellen G. White True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. ~~Francois de La Rochefoucauld

give me your hand, a bit of your skin to bite a dripping bead of your sweat to quench my thirst the force of your scent to calm my sleep give me the breath that fills your soul the warmth of my bodychestmanarms will keep you safe stroke my body, I pull you closer to mine so close to me that I can taste your heart my energy weaving within yours I'll give you my all manloveheart and even will youreyesaretheworldIlivein

Every time we participate in a ritual, we are expressing our beliefs, either verbally or more implicitly. —Tony Schwartz

Hi G***. The Eight of Swords calls today to remind you who you are and what you can do. The eight of swords is a card of self-imposed limitations, feeling trap, bounded, unable to see clearly what the next right move is. This card also speaks to a time for action, the eight of swords is telling you to get up and get to work. You have everything you need within. Remember? This is a time when maybe you have been feeling all tied up, like you are tied down, and it is heavy. You feel like you are out of choices, and you don’t know how to do what needs to be done. This feeling is paralyzing you, and you feel like you cannot breathe. The eight of swords is here to remind you that all of these bounds are control by you! The only things that are binding you are the ones you give power to. You are an infinite being and there are no limitations! So time to set your self free. It is time for you to get up, to do the first thing that is in front of you and to remember that it will always work ...

the mistake was not using the common vocabulary instead of a meaningless set of words words long forgotten on the wayside during the journey. a road had been traced, a final destination without the need to articulate sounds. on the journeys through the nebula we'd learn that the interpretation of glances was more useful than the encyclopedic vocabulary or the common place lexicon. I lost myself in the waves of my own words while ignoring the harmony of your tunes.

I find myself lost in the contrived language of poetry the afternoon drips away onto the street pools collecting the sediments of the day the indifference of the wheel that splashes the hours away the search for meaning in the distant woods or the road ahead the cacophony of voices that give meaning to the moment I find myself lost in a new sound, a new symbol that doesn't yet exist the moment that connects the brain to the heart, the hand to the touch I'm lost on the words of the page asking myself how do I give meaning to the spaces between words, the silences that don't appear on the page; to the feeling that has color and texture, a scent and a taste of its own? I'm lost in the void of the moment, the spark that connects the sentiment to the sound, lost in the impetus to capture the meaning of the synaptic current that moved me to craft feelings with meaningless words.

El error fue ignorar el vocabulario que ya entendíamos A cambio de palabras sin un significado En el recorrido del tiempo. ya se habia trazado un camino, Un destino final en el que seria innecesario articular sonidos. En los viajes de la nebula aprendimos Que La mirada decia mas que las enciclopedias, Que habia un modo mas eficiente de comunicación Que el pobre léxico cotidiano de nuestros idiomas. Me perdí en el mar de mis palabras E ignore las ondas de tu sintonía

dive on hyper-drive, overdrive burning the fuel that floods the engine the oxidase fumes of the burning oils the molecules that clog the diaphragm the outlet inlet supply demand valves the corroding scent of diesels the cells that turn chemical to motion the shock absorbers that keep it all smooth what are the weather conditions? how much fuel will we burn? what when how do we ignite the spark plugs? how much fuel for the miles? how long before you engine burn out? how long before the oxidized motor oil corrodes the engine permanently? for how long can rust inhibitors work? there's only one engine ...

"God has given you one face," Hamlet said, "and you make yourselves another." ... and with it a half heart

in life you are, you show originality of thought, originality of spirit, initiative, creativity ... all should be born within, from love of self to love of others ... self realization is achieved by letting our talents flourish, by expressing genuine feelings and sentiment, by working to understand our truth we must never aim to copy someone else, behave like someone else, pretend to be someone else, regardless of how admirable that person, real or imagined, may be--it is not you!! you will not grow, you will not attain self knowledge, if all you do is what someone else would do, or worse yet, what you think someone else wants you to do ... if you follow that pattern of behavior, you will never achieve self knowledge, nor will you ever find true love ... if you are a "pretend person" or a "usurper," you have now placed a wall between you and the world -- happiness will never reach you and you will never be able to make someone else truly happy ... you cannot p...

I want to nurture your heart, give it light when light is what it needs, passion when it burns tenderness when it needs relief I want to caress your heart, give it love find in it the child you once were and hold it in my arms and guard its sleep I want your heart beating close to mine the two to dance to one beat and when one is in need the other to give I want to see your heart filled with Joy mine bare with delight, both to join behind one force, one spirit

people who are alike tend to form societies ... and once part of this society, the individual is forced to conform to its rules, its morality, its codes of ethics and behavior ... the society becomes master--it dictates what is normal and acceptable ... the individual loses his individuality, his dreams, wants and desires are secondary ... he must conform to be seen, he must conform to matter ... the society decides his happiness and he plays along, often unhappy, disillusioned, dissatisfied.

one was the one in time one took more time than others one was a fleeting moment one was a dream against all others in time and space we search courage will stand against convenience the will to grow against all comforts the gem that hides requires strength forge ahead & gaze not behind you, it was writ what lies before you has all answers the intents of the heart are cast forth sometimes nothing is the best thing to do

that time to time does serve describe inscribe transcribe the letter rules the temple in its essence, thought is not man made the rules imposed are meaningless all is a stream that floods the consciousness there are no channels to follow nor dams to overflow take a look and see the reflection the brain-mind duality reacts then thought is triggered the dressing of the experience, its coloring

count to ten again, start the thoughts begin at the end, count from 10 how time, turning and turning begin at the end that starts again a silly game of words with words one says the more and one the less the walls grow higher, thicker, stronger the heart is just another brick. what we have learned blooms and grows: blossoms of loneliness turning to wants we turn our eyes from the void of emotions: desires burning in the apathy of distance (snakes lay their eggs in a bed of thorns yet turtles return to their place of origin) And I ask myself often, where is it that I started, when did the heart burn bright? which is the point to return to? which is the goal? Yet another game of words.

The Hermit card shows a man in crisis. The unresolved mysteries of life have isolated him and are beginning to eat away at him, driving him in search of answers. This alerts him that he has behaved without proper forethought, and he must now connect with his higher-self to learn what he has overlooked. He feels that isolation will help him arrive at the answers, and so he paces restlessly from dusk till dawn, thinking and examining, seeking what he has overlooked. This is not a time for socializing or taking action or making any decisions, but rather for peace and solitude in order to think and find clarity. The Hermit is always on the move, but on the move in his protected space so he can think. His restless mind propels him constantly to work and search, and his desire to “be alone” makes him impatient with people who disrupt his peace. The Hermit hides for days, weeks and months and then emerges to solve his crisis, his time of solitude allowing all of the pieces to fall into pl...

Gratifying words Thankfulness redefined Time and place And where it was the roads converged The beginning's continuous flows The dreams that never end The night's perpetual whispers The thoughts that interconnect Parallel desires burning

It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere. Voltaire

Hi G***. The Page of Cups is your card for today! This card represents youthfulness, intuition, love, creativity, and following your heart. The Page of Cups shows up to remind you to see the joy in it all. This card speaks of romance and new beginnings. The page of cups regards emotions and how you choose to use them in your life. This card also speaks of new relationships, and moving into a new understanding in the way you interact with others, especially someone close to you. When the page of cups shows up on your path be prepared to be filled with inspiration and fire! Your dreams are moving into your reality! The page of cups calls forth playfulness, a sense of wonder, reminding you to find joy in everything you do. You can do this by remaining present, by taking in all life has to offer in this moment. Let go of the past and do your best not to worry about the future. When you align yourself in this moment, when you are who you truly are, in this moment, then every...

i can only offer you a stanza not much more ... my letters are the guardians of all my possessions, all my treasures in black and white ... they are all i have, my faithful companions; within them are hidden my mornings dews and my twilights, the wind of the sea and the sounds of the ocean, the essence of the river of my childhood, countless sundowns, more memorable those when you were there, the song that helps me forget, the poem that helps me remember; just one stanza is within my reach today, it is all i can afford today; but neatly packed within it is my first memory of you, your first unsure gaze, and how my eyes held you, the first sound of your voice, my first image of you outside of my imagination; yet it can only be this one stanza and not more-- all my riches are within it; you only have but to look once; there are no shortages nor any excesses-- all that is needed is here; trapped within the spaces, within one or two of the words, you will even find m...

quisiera alimentar tu corazón, darle brillo cuando es luz lo que pide, pasión cuando arde, dulzura cuando necesite alivio quisiera acariciar tu corazón, darle cariño encontrar en él al niño inocente y resguardarlo en mis brazos hasta que duerma quisiera sentir tu corazón pegado al mío los dos perderse en un solo ritmo que cuando el uno pida el otro ofrezca quisiera ver tu corazón rendido en júbilo el mío desnudo en regocijo ambos entrelazados unirse en brío

sólo te puedo regalar esta estrofa no puedo darte más ... en mis letras está todo lo que tengo, todos mis tesoros en blanco y negro ... sólo las tengo a ellas, mis fieles compañeras; en ellas guardo crepúsculos y auroras, la brisa del mar y su sonido, el olor del río de mis recuerdos, incontables atardeceres, aún los más memorables cuando estuviste, la canción que me hace olvidarlo todo y el poema con el que todo lo recuerdo; sólo una estrofa está a mi alcance hoy es el único lujo que puedo permitirme; en ella está mi primer recuerdo tuyo tu primera mirada y como te vieron mis ojos, el primer sonido de tu voz, tu primer semblante; más sólo puede ser esta única y nada más-- Mi única riqueza aquí se encuentra; no tienes sino que entenderla una sola vez, en ella no hay mucho, ni excesos ni deficiencias, pero está todo lo necesario. Aún atrapado entre los espacios, en una o dos de las palabras, se encuentra atado mi corazón, exento.

tell me, where does the road end? where do the lines cross? where does it become clear, distinct which was the point of departure, the expected point of arrival? tell me, who has been plotting the coordinates? who is tracking progress, who owns the itinerary? who decides where to make a turn, whether to take the shortest or the longest route? who's measuring the distance, watching the clock? tell me who is waiting at the end, who saw us off?

Another Sunday, another day's day sifts away the shadows tenderly hugging the night with cloud upon cloud up above I have no moon, no stars to gaze at no one to tell my joys and sorrows to the clock closes fast, the hours heed the call and one by one make their appearance in deference to some force yet to make its way the tictactoc of the clock echoes the rumbling of my own music, the song that drips away behind these letters the clickitycloc of the QUERTY directive I can remember that I want to forget as the day dissolves into an endless duplication I fail in my task and as the day ends, my toil starts somewhere in Olympus, Sisyphus understands; an ever rising Venus casts her spell and a compassionate Cupid seeks solace in the arms of Physche The Fates await with open arms and far, far away, in a distant dream Lord Shiva learns the dance of Parapati-- the music calls me ..

in silence words are cast forth created like stars in the void of the universe the sensations, yearnings, wants, desires of our spirit are projected against our consciousness

I never measure coffee, as perhaps I should "two tablespoons per 8 ounces of water" never yields the right taste I've learned to measure by sight and sense just as my grandmother used to do when salting foods "pour the salt on your hand and let the hand decide how much it needs" I let my hand decide how much coffee I need for my day Last night was a long night of sleep and dreams of people long ago and of far away places, of light, darkness, spirits and the like. This morning the coffee is strong.

lack of courage is not cowardice or even fear, although it can be lack of courage is often the perceived notion that all is lost so then, in fact, lack of courage can be a sense of defeat

to my readers, whoever you might be, thank you. thank you for entertaining my moments of madness and lucidity. thank you for allowing me, if even for a millisecond, to be the vehicle that brings forth light. thank you for allowing my darkness; in darkness one sees the nature of light with clarity.

it doesn't really matter, really-- the state of change and inertia matter less the movement of stars is insignificant the sun stays still forever and a day, as does the earth in its rotations. Movement is nothing more than the interruption of the eternal moment, the stillness that bears our spirits and enslaves the body.

I want to go nude, naked, bare nothing to hide behind the threads my body exposed to the wind my senses turned on by the breeze I want to go bare in the cold, the rain bare to the world in contact with the elements of life my body reveling in the warmth of the sun I want the bare release time and again

i dreamed of your hands, fingers your voice telling me what I wanted to hear your body giving in to my advances you seemed more sure of yourself than I knew you to be your heart was still the same, however

the night begins not unlike an afterthought. the many threads that unravel form a tunnel of thoughts. a symphonic cacophony of desires weaves itself into my flesh. the spirit calls out for its mate amidst the debris of intransigence. the echoes of the heart refuse to cease their song. a brighter light carries me through dimensions of dreams. every fabricated ending strengthens the inevitable.

Hi G*&. The Minor Arcana represents your choices and actions throughout the realization of your destiny… The Pentacles are the big achievers who are responsible, dedicated, stubborn, perfectionists, practical, controlling, slow moving, private, good listeners, work alcoholics, and very ambitious. They want to climb in status with their careers and within society… The Birth Of Poseidon In Mythic Tarot and Greek Mythology, you meet Poseidon (the god of the sea, earthquakes and horses). Poseidon had three sisters (Demeter, Hestia, and Hera) and two brothers (Zeus and Hades). Poseidon was the son of Cronus, and his mother was Rhea. Later, Poseidon married Amphitrite (the goddess of the sea), but also had many lovers. In legend, Cronus, Poseidon’s father feared that his children would overthrow him, so he swallowed his children right after they were born to protect himself. However, Cronus was not able to swallow Zeus, and when Zeus got older, he caught up with his father and m...

If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. Lao Tzu

It is estimated that over 40% of us will feel the aching pangs of loneliness at some point in our lives. Yet despite how common loneliness is, few people are fully aware of the dramatic ways in which it impacts us. Here are 10 surprising facts about loneliness that will change how you view this all-too-common but devastating psychological condition: Loneliness does not depend on how many friends or relationships you have. Loneliness depends entirely on the subjective quality of your relationships—on whether you feel emotionally and/or socially disconnected from those around you. That is why... More than 60% of lonely people are married. When married couples no longer share their deepest feelings, thoughts, and experiences with one another it can leave them feeling disconnected and alone. (See What to Do When You’re Married and Lonely.) People in such relationships truly believe their spouse cannot offer them the deep connection they would like. While their fears might be cor...

excerpt from sub bottoms: a reminiscence I like how these (submissive type) guys turn on my "predatory" instinct ... it's funny how when I'm around guys like these I want to do 3 things: bite them, strike them and penetrate them ... it's at an instinctual level... I feel my demeanor changing, my mood-I feel anger and violence come up, the way I stand even--I want to appear bigger, stronger, intimidating--I want to make them feel afraid ... It's happened with total strangers at the gym, the subway--nothing happens there, but I feel the dynamic happen ... how they react too, their body language, they flush, become quiet, sheepish, almost as if they were sensing danger--but they are drawn to it at the same time -- it excites them ... and it's totally hot--gets my cock rock hard all the time ... it's pure passion with the right guy My Ideal ... my ideal would be a combination ... a cool sub who likes sex games and submit ... play out different scenar...

"So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you." - Paulo Coelho

simple words, the words that the heart speaks beyond the truth, the falsehood, good evil beauty little syntax necessary, punctuation none the idioms of the heart defy all reason the logic of the logician, the verbosity of poets are mere refuse. it is in fact a night within the light not a color to be labeled nor a hue- it is in the night that the heart sounds loudest draws on the canvas, summons all force the night that sleeps and dreams desires melting, fires burning words are soap bubbles chasing the wind. It isn't the light that burns brightest.

My ideal would be a combination (read Nov 9 posting: the sub bottoms: a reminiscence) ... a cool sub who likes sex games and submit ... play out different scenarios ... and who can deal with my general dominant personality but is not looking for an asshole and can be romantic and not see it as a weakness--someone I can treat like my prince and fuck like my whore ... and who is not looking for a "straight-like" dominant male/weak female dynamic ok ... I'm waiting

I - The Beginning my first experience was a long time ago ... I knew nothing of tops and bottoms or subs or the like ... this boy and I became friends-- a special friendship of sorts ... at a young age somewhere around the 10 to 13 range ... we used to play all the time together at his house ... he was my first sub ... he would in essence serve me and be subservient and if he got me upset, I would often smack him--sometimes smack him until I got him to cry--and that made me feel good --- his tears and his submission to my punishment--he would just stand in front of me, I was taller and maybe a year or 2 older, as I smacked him, tears rolling down his face. With him I practiced a lot of what would be sexualized later--I would push him around, sit on his chest and squeeze his throat, push my fingers down his throat and step on his face. I remember i liked to pin him against the wall, look at him in the eyes and then bite his neck--he would drop whatever toy he was holding--this was the...

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ― Leo Tolstoy

The night's call is alluring Intrinsically mysterious Darkness shades and shadows All hide and reveal their secrets Like a game of twisting ropes Light and darkness separate And together all at once.

Sometimes you set nights afire And thoughts of you overtake my senses Desire's more than I can Beyond this time all fires burning My lips, my tongue want your desires Desires command my will to want you Far more than desire is driving me now My will, my thoughts, my every sense My touch, my sight, my taste all burning

desire beyond conscious desires the energy of the body's lust the force that conjures desired pleasures from unknown depth, hidden wants as in a trance by body reacts my pleasure heightened by the thought of my hand striking your white cheeks my hand gently stroking tightens its grip at the pleasure to be had squeezing your balls or the grip of my fingers on your nipples the edging sensation emerging from the longed for desire to force my cock into you and deep deep down your throat to hold you under me your pain and pleasure at my control

"Isn't it Ironic, that we ignore the ones who adore us, adore the ones that ignore us, love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones that love us."

i've known the void--far, deep, wide i've looked at the void long enough to lose myself in it i've loved the void, the endless long wide deep echo i've crossed the void, weightless in my own orbit i've emerged from the void cleaner, lighter the light of the void is in its darkness.

How does one love with one foot in the hole and the other one ready to jump out ... ? Does that really work? for love to flourish it has to be with both feet firm on the ground.

There was a time not so long ago When tender caring was just enough To nurture a fellow man, to gaze at him With loving eyes was just enough The heart content sublimating the longing force There was a time when just closeness was enough The presence of mind, the companionship Fulfilled the body's wants The sheer force of desire matched its will In random faces And that too was enough. There was a time--yet When yearnings broke like a summer storm The embers burning fierce turned to unbridled fires The holy trinity of heart mind body, Twisting like wild serpents, shed their chrysalis-- The heart yearned for heart, the body ached for body There is a time--the forking road The gift of words, the courage to paint a new picture The drive to be reborn To love enough to build with the force of love and desire-- To leave the worm's memory behind.

one word more, one word less - a memory the lines of words and letters that run away the streams of images projected against a thought the words we choose to render word on top of word letters falling, melting words the words in dreams--translucent thoughts the letters shaped by desires--the wanting words the wanted in dots, periods instances robbed of meaning.

Hi G**. The Magician calls on you today... Today is a magical day! The Magician is a card of self-realization, power, and thoughts manifest into reality. The Magician represents your inner power, the magic within you, reminding you --> you are the creator of your life. When the Magician calls, you are in the process of this creation, you remember who you are, and what you can do. You can do anything you want, your intention is all it takes, and today you know this, today you are living in the moment and it is delicious! The Magician speaks to you today reminding you that you are a part of it all. You are an infinite being, experiencing life in this human form. You are remembering that you have this power, and life is falling into a sweet place, in fact it is the sweetest place you know right now. There is no fear, no doubt, in this moment you feel the love of the entire universe and you know you are on path. The path you are on is magical; you feel the synchronicity in every s...

i want to bare myself in your eyes sea, sky, light all at once i want to know myself in your eyes reflection of me beyond my body i want to feel myself in your eyes in that void beyond the senses i want to see myself with your eyes, with the sound of your lips resounding pleasures that break a silence i want to taste my desire with your mouth feel my essence lost in the landscape of your body i want to come to know you as that other one the one in whose pleasures my desire awakens.

quiero verme en tus ojos de mar, de cielo, de luz quiero verme en tus ojos reflejo más allá de mi cuerpo quiero verme en tus ojos en ese espacio más allá de mis sentidos quiero verme en tus ojos, oirme en tus labios placeres sonoros que ropen el silencio quiero conocer mi placer en tu boca sentir que me pierdo en el terreno de tu cuerpo quiero conocerte como el otro aquel cuyo placer despierta mis deseos

The force that drives the water through the rocks Drives my red blood; that dries the mouthing streams Turns mine to wax. And I am dumb to mouth unto my veins How at the mountain spring the same mouth sucks. --Dylan Thomas the morning starts with energy beyond the morning's force bolts of raw energy charge my body in wakeful sleep dreams beyond the realm of dreams the force that energizes, wakes me, induces sleep dreams projecting truths I've chosen to ignore in humble quest, searching from place to place, door to door revisiting the old familiar places, searching for the one familiar face at every door the same familiar name, scent, warmth and all the senses driven by a desire beyond desire, propelled by jolts of energy once again those others electrified me there is but just one mission with one objective a purpose all to clear ... to move forward, I have to push the other forward too

Love finds us where we are, not where we were. -- Bob Goff

there is a life we dream about, the one we live inside our heads ... the life where the latest fashion trends and the well decorated apartment have little importance; in fact, they often do not even exist ... the life I speak of fills our spirit with joy... it's simple and doesn't require a circus or a troupe of entertainers to make us feel happy, content or fulfilled ... in this life there are a few people that matter to us, there is perhaps even a significant other who is happy when he sees we're happy, whose face lights with joy upon seeing us ... there is an energy that grows within us and makes us feel connected to others and to the universe ... in this life, joy and laughter are our companions ... no conflict ever threatens to overwhelm or separate ... this inner life seems like a fantasy--and yet, we just have to choose to switch it on, we need only have the courage to live it ... to let go of our fears, our resentments, our regrets and let this defensive mask that w...

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. Nelson Mandela 'Content' is a word that has never sat well with me. Like 'maturity'. They are two words I've never liked. I think they imply some sort of decay. A settling. Elvis Costello I think a lot of people settle with comfort. I've kinda pushed my whole life not to do that. There's nothing wrong with settling, it's definitely an easier life than the one I've chosen to live. Aubrey O'Day Happiness, to some, elation; Is, to others, mere stagnation. Amy Lowell

Déjà vu is a tricky word ... mostly because everyone has an understanding of it ... it literally means "already seen" ... and it's that feeling we get when we are in the middle of an event that we seem to be able to remember ... or appears as if we're remembering it ... to me it has always been a bad omen as it would mean that I am repeating a life--in other words, I'm spiritually stuck ... every so often I get that feeling, or I used to ... not so much anymore ... now I feel uncertainty, a certain incongruity, a certain "what/where/why"--also not a good thing-- life should feel right ... for a long time my life felt like it was flowing ... some might say complacency; I say that I was walking the right path ... then suddenly it all started feeling wrong, disconnected ... as if truths were being ignored, hidden, not said--and this goes in many direction: with myself, others ... But why Déjà vu and not kismet? of course, dictionaries have poor translatio...

Hi G==>. The Minor Arcana represent your choices and actions throughout the realization of your destiny… The Cups represent your personal outlook with respect to your emotional feelings and your tendency to think with your heart rather than with your head… This includes the connection to love, friendships and relationships which exert such strong pull on your decisions. You may be spontaneous or slow in your reactions, depending on what your heart relays to you… The Birth Of Aphrodite In Mythic Tarot, you meet Aphrodite (the goddess of love) and she is rising from the sea. In the Ace of Cups, there is a storm bubbling in the sea, the storm represents the birth of Aphrodite. Aphrodite holds an enormous golden cup that represents a sudden spiritual awakening, a message that will be revealed to you about your love life! This awakening is connected to love, and it reflects the time when you are ready to open up your heart, with giving and receiving of unconditional love. The gol...

"One loves because one lives. There is no reason for loving." -Paulo Coelho

A lesser-known but influential psychoanalytical theory is control mastery theory. According to this view, people who develop psychological problems have an unconscious belief in their own unworthiness, developed as a result of the way that neglectful or abusive parents treated them. These people constantly blame themselves for their mistakes, even those that weren’t their fault, because they're so used to being blamed. They then go on to engage in behaviors that actively thwart themselves just to “prove” that their parents or significant others were right about them; or, more commonly, to remain stuck where they are. I know at least one such individual: step 1: "I'm stuck where I am because of my allergies ..." step 2: "Been really good. I'm feeling much better." step 3: "Feeling crappy again. Ate something I shouldn't have." ... repeat cycle endlessly with allergies, with FB/FWB, therapy, and on and on and on ... people keep doing the...

the evening falls quietly again another Friday that surprises, the pieces of this or that day hang the procreational directive is triggered and frantic the hands call the FB or FWB or searches, searches the many faces across the Grindr Scruff Mister Manhunt Adam4Adam screens filled with the promise of a lonely moment with an intimate stranger the loveless play ignites and the body plays the part of body and the heart beats like an abated echo of many hungers the face smiles the lips savor the drink the body parts tingle in anticipation this is the night, this is the night when forlorn loves bloom the stillness of the dark filled with promise behind every corner the bulging familiar of strangers moves in unison the pollinated shadows will make their way home and the familiar strangers who play at lovers hold in their hands the longing hearts of their FB/FWB partners the warm bodies that dance on the precarious void of emotions the morning another reminders to be forgotte...

Romance and dimly-lit settings are so closely associated in our minds that we might automatically think a date will go better in the dark. If it weren’t for the belief that love requires darkness to bloom, modern-day candlemakers could go out of business. As it turns out, however, there are some people who are particularly likely to benefit from night’s shadows. Those individuals, with some of the so-called “dark triad” personality traits, may in fact have better luck finding a partner when the lights are in turned down. The dark triad in psychology refers to the combination of Machiavellianism (the tendency to coldly manipulate people), psychopathy (the lack of empathy and remorse) and narcissism (excessive self-focus). People high in all three of these qualities can be dangerous partners. As you might imagine, not only do they use people but they are exceptionally good at getting others to swallow their bait. For your own mental health, you'll likely want to stay away from pote...

to lose myself in the moment, the touch of another his breath that runs swiftly through my senses the warmth from his chest against mine the sweet softness of his reddened lips I taste his desire as I run my lips though his neck take his lobes in my mouth run down the chest pecs softness of his belly the small of his back offers yet more the fuzz on his mounds enticing through my body run bolts of lighting and my manhood owned in my lover's body II to lose myself again, again in a desires yet to happen the scents sounds smells the mind conjures the many dreams where the desired wanders in and out to find myself frozen in the moment tranced by waves of thoughts that break my will the ghostly energy that ignites the nerves and sends bolts of lighting to all my senses my body responds and my mind wanders freely in the realm of these waves of pleasure, oblivious to time, place and reason III to lose myself to find myself again facing the mirror, the hauntin...

Feeling so randomly thankful for so many people (friends, family, even strangers who have crossed my path just at the right time), places and even things that have made their way into my life ... and yet I feel nostalgic too ... but everything is connected/interconnected and, as always, we are where we're supposed to be at each step of the way .. I believe we're always paving the way for the next step we have to take ... the universe is too grand and the possibilities inexhaustible for our minds to capture and so we create limits ... letting go of those limits offers a greater world than we can ever imagine

the days day is more than the hours 24 says the clock, an arbitrary division the cyclical spin of the cycle of days is exempt in the workings of the brain the days the hours seconds years decades are a liquid sea of endless measure there is no beginning and no end in a thought or a feeling the mind is ever expanding ever growing the multiplication of moments is no longer the moment the facsimile of the faces and voices remain tattooed on the circuitry and the memory takes on the reality rivals the reality and usurps it and so we remember things just we remember them the echo that bounces off the heart becomes the heart; the sound, the energy of the heart is multiplied in a million sets of memories that play and replay the lonely brick that turns to a house becomes the world and so it is with the light's end that the dance begins again and another day shines form on the imagery of the spirit the ghosts that roam within are much more real than the spinning glo...

Everything is energy & that's all there is to it ... match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics. --Darryl Anka

Hi G*&^. Temperance calls today to remind you there is no such thing as separation. This card speaks to opposing forces merging together to create balance, harmony, and peace. You have reached a place where you know your peace comes from within. You remember that when you release limiting thoughts anything is possible. Life flows in synchronicity, and you are connected to this flow, you are connected to it all. You see the beauty in it all. You see that you do not have to give up something to obtain your goal; you merely have to find the right proportions to the equation. You remember that there is unity in all things. Even when you feel you may be seeing things from a disconnect, you know by remaining connected with in, it all unfolds exactly as it is meant to for your greatest good. You have been working very hard to reach this place. Now that you have arrived, you realize how much fun it all is. You feel excitement because you are living, you are being who you are mea...

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man. Friedrich Nietzsche

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit —Khalil Gibran

“It's not that you should never love something so much that it can control you. It's that you need to love something that much so you can never be controlled. It's not a weakness. It's your best strength.” ― Patrick Ness “You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control.” ― Megan Chance “There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function. They are like toys on wheels of manipulation and control. If you remove one of the wheels, they'll never be able to feel secure, to be whole.” ― C. JoyBell C. "You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you're in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don't fall in love with people because they're fun. It just happens." ― Kirsten Dunst

What is the cost of being in an emotional manipulative relationship? Loss of self-esteem; increased anxiety and depression; a growing sense of hopelessness and helplessness; exhaustion; a sense of emptiness and increasing hurt; fear; and frustration. Emotionally dependent partners often feel trapped in relationships because of their sense of loyalty and reluctance to hurt the other person, no matter what that person has done. Instead of the reactions of fight-or-flight, most respond to danger, anger and hostility by shutting down. Their breathing becomes shallow, they freeze up, and wait for the danger to pass. This shutdown process makes thinking fuzzy, as muscles tense up, and even heart and digestion rates slow down. This reaction can result in physical problems such as migraines; indigestion and other intestinal problems; insomnia; neck, shoulder and back aches; and an overall sense of defeat.

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people. :: Carl Jung

there are no extras here, it has all been stored away the scent neatly packet in a series of bottles, each labeled  the voice in its own box--double tape on the edges to keep it all in it was more difficult to store away the items with inherent subtlety-- what to do with a gesture, a gaze? those have been captured in the mirror and the mirror covered with a long cloth it has been trickier, however, to store away the intangibles a moment, a thought, a feeling ... those have been wrapped  rice paper dipped in oil to preserve them more difficult still has been to inventory the random memories, the ones triggered by a place, a scent, a sound for those the storage space will have to be greater ... impossible, however, and we must all agree,  will be to gather the energies that elude our control nostalgia, want, desire and even love can't be concealed for those a greater storage space, such as a desert or ocean.   Sent from my iPad

the brain plays with us, it really does! ... buying bananas it hit me--the aroma of guavas ... small, pinkish yellow green guavas in a wicker basket sending off their scent to captivate ... and just like that I was transported to places I didn't know I remembered ... another life all too forgotten came rushing to the forefront of my thoughts and my eyes watered ... and I found myself laughing and telling the dumfounded girl behind the register how in the house of my childhood I would climb guava trees ... I did so not just to pick the ripest, sweetest ones ... but more so to be encapsulated in their scent ... the heavy summer air literally thick from the moisture that came from the beaches and the river nearby gave a stillness to the air that I have never felt again; and within that stillness the waves of ripe guava that trampled my senses and I climbed higher hoping to leave the ground behind. as with ripe guavas, the only fruit that will trigger such memories (you may read Marq...