Self-defeating tactics
A lesser-known but influential psychoanalytical theory is control mastery theory. According to this view, people who develop psychological problems have an unconscious belief in their own unworthiness, developed as a result of the way that neglectful or abusive parents treated them. These people constantly blame themselves for their mistakes, even those that weren’t their fault, because they're so used to being blamed. They then go on to engage in behaviors that actively thwart themselves just to “prove” that their parents or significant others were right about them; or, more commonly, to remain stuck where they are.
I know at least one such individual:
step 1: "I'm stuck where I am because of my allergies ..."
step 2: "Been really good. I'm feeling much better."
step 3: "Feeling crappy again. Ate something I shouldn't have."
... repeat cycle endlessly with allergies, with FB/FWB, therapy, and on and on and on ... people keep doing the very thing that makes them unhappy, subjecting themselves to the same unhealthy situations and are quite aware of it ... but are helpless to change!!! it's almost an addiction to their pain and discomfort ... or they are so afraid of the healthy, happy unknown that they prefer to stay put ...
In therapy, these self-handicapping individuals may constantly test the professionals who work with them via “unconscious plans” in which they see whether their therapists will fail them in the way their parents did. They want to know if the therapist will allow them to hold onto their accomplishments or, taking the cues from their parents, feel they deserve to crash and burn.
I know at least one such individual:
step 1: "I'm stuck where I am because of my allergies ..."
step 2: "Been really good. I'm feeling much better."
step 3: "Feeling crappy again. Ate something I shouldn't have."
... repeat cycle endlessly with allergies, with FB/FWB, therapy, and on and on and on ... people keep doing the very thing that makes them unhappy, subjecting themselves to the same unhealthy situations and are quite aware of it ... but are helpless to change!!! it's almost an addiction to their pain and discomfort ... or they are so afraid of the healthy, happy unknown that they prefer to stay put ...
In therapy, these self-handicapping individuals may constantly test the professionals who work with them via “unconscious plans” in which they see whether their therapists will fail them in the way their parents did. They want to know if the therapist will allow them to hold onto their accomplishments or, taking the cues from their parents, feel they deserve to crash and burn.