Roles
So yesterday I tried to be and confirmed I could not play the bottom.
So I meet the guy who is a "top" and appears to be a nice guy and all so I figure, wht not, let me expand my horizons.
Before my eyes the guy underwent a transformation: took ona cold demeanor, staring me down and talking to me as if I were a child or his property ... I didnt slap him because I wanted to play out my experiment. It did remind me of this time I was talking to this guy friend of mine and his man came along and looked at him menacingly as if asking "why are you talking to someone you know I disapprove of?"
The "man" walked away in a huff and texted something to my friend who turned red and immediately went home like a scared puppy--his Guido had given him the order to go home. The funny and sad thing is that he seemed both scared and pleased by the text. How? I do not understand it ... why let someone control you in that way? Isnt that called emotional abuse?
And that is precisely my point here .. my "top" yesterday displayed all the same traits: controlling, and discreetly abusive and walked as if I belonged to him ... what the fuck???
There maybe be weak minded individuals out there who want that, I am not one of them ... why would I subject myself or someone else to that type of emotional dysfunction?
It's not sexy and it's not healthy ... in fact, there is something very primitive, unevolved about it ... strike a balance with love in the mix
Anyway, and so my experiment ended ... the guy was even sending me some text messages that were meant to make me feel guilty or have to explain myself to him or something .... bizarre how guys who are stuck in the "male/female" roles in gay relationships reproduce all that is dysfunctional in a male/female relationship: the emotional power play and even abuse, the sense of ownership ... etc ...
I want to be with an equal who is my sub in bed or in romantic play only ...
I see who so many guys think I am "too passive" to be a top ... they want the an asshole to control them out of bed ... yeah, I can play the dom in a courting game but a relationship goes beyond role play -- at least it is so for me
So I meet the guy who is a "top" and appears to be a nice guy and all so I figure, wht not, let me expand my horizons.
Before my eyes the guy underwent a transformation: took ona cold demeanor, staring me down and talking to me as if I were a child or his property ... I didnt slap him because I wanted to play out my experiment. It did remind me of this time I was talking to this guy friend of mine and his man came along and looked at him menacingly as if asking "why are you talking to someone you know I disapprove of?"
The "man" walked away in a huff and texted something to my friend who turned red and immediately went home like a scared puppy--his Guido had given him the order to go home. The funny and sad thing is that he seemed both scared and pleased by the text. How? I do not understand it ... why let someone control you in that way? Isnt that called emotional abuse?
And that is precisely my point here .. my "top" yesterday displayed all the same traits: controlling, and discreetly abusive and walked as if I belonged to him ... what the fuck???
There maybe be weak minded individuals out there who want that, I am not one of them ... why would I subject myself or someone else to that type of emotional dysfunction?
It's not sexy and it's not healthy ... in fact, there is something very primitive, unevolved about it ... strike a balance with love in the mix
Anyway, and so my experiment ended ... the guy was even sending me some text messages that were meant to make me feel guilty or have to explain myself to him or something .... bizarre how guys who are stuck in the "male/female" roles in gay relationships reproduce all that is dysfunctional in a male/female relationship: the emotional power play and even abuse, the sense of ownership ... etc ...
I want to be with an equal who is my sub in bed or in romantic play only ...
I see who so many guys think I am "too passive" to be a top ... they want the an asshole to control them out of bed ... yeah, I can play the dom in a courting game but a relationship goes beyond role play -- at least it is so for me