The abused as a predator
For a long time I believed the psychological mumbo jumbo that victims of abuse fell pray to their abusers, that the abusers seeked out potential victims and drew them into their lair of abuse. But having observed many people around me, I now see that in many instances the abused actually seek out their abusers.
The abused are not "innocent victims," they are active participants in the dysfunctional game. They go out and seek people who have the traits of an abuser and then engage them and in fact draw them in--whether sexually, economically or both. These so-called victims seek abuse, they desire it--often sexualize it.
I have observed this in both hetero and homosexual couples where one partner is abusive. In fact, often the abuser wants to disengage but the "victim" keep drawing him back. The abused becomes more submissive to keep his abuser engaged -- this behavior on the part of the abused in fact causes the abuser to become more abusive. He owns his victim because his victim has given up control to him. Now the abuser feels that he has the right to inflict more abuse on any way he sees fit--emotional, physical or both -- after all, his victim wants it and keeps coming back for more.
This explains long term relationships where the abused is constantly looking for support from friends and family because of the abuse inflicted on him/her by the partner and despite any intervention, the partner continues to be abusive and the victim keeps going back -- in fact, often the victims hide the story from some so that they tell them what they want to hear "he is not that bad. He's a nice person. work it out. etc ... "--the abuse is the dynamic that keeps them together--without the abuse there is no relationship.
wow--this is some really fucked up shit!!
The abused are not "innocent victims," they are active participants in the dysfunctional game. They go out and seek people who have the traits of an abuser and then engage them and in fact draw them in--whether sexually, economically or both. These so-called victims seek abuse, they desire it--often sexualize it.
I have observed this in both hetero and homosexual couples where one partner is abusive. In fact, often the abuser wants to disengage but the "victim" keep drawing him back. The abused becomes more submissive to keep his abuser engaged -- this behavior on the part of the abused in fact causes the abuser to become more abusive. He owns his victim because his victim has given up control to him. Now the abuser feels that he has the right to inflict more abuse on any way he sees fit--emotional, physical or both -- after all, his victim wants it and keeps coming back for more.
This explains long term relationships where the abused is constantly looking for support from friends and family because of the abuse inflicted on him/her by the partner and despite any intervention, the partner continues to be abusive and the victim keeps going back -- in fact, often the victims hide the story from some so that they tell them what they want to hear "he is not that bad. He's a nice person. work it out. etc ... "--the abuse is the dynamic that keeps them together--without the abuse there is no relationship.
wow--this is some really fucked up shit!!