LookerQ LookerQG

worth re-posting ... All intimacy is rare -- that's what makes it precious. And it involves the revelation of one's self and the loving gaze upon another's true self (no makeup, no fancy car, no defensive charm, no seduction) -- that's what makes it so damn hard. Intimacy requires honesty and kindness in almost equal measure (a little more kindness, I think), trust and trustworthiness, forgiveness and the capacity to be forgiven . . . It's more than worth it -- just don't let them tell you it's bliss. :Amy Bloom

When the feelings of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction won't go away, then they were put there for a reason--it's time to move forward, time to change everything. : Paulo Coelho

I don't know why I I do understand the nuances of a self the insecurity, the low self worth coupled with self love and willfulness it's the instinct to live that keeps us moving and it is the same instinct that makes us love we can't avoid it, we can't erase it, we can't forget it and I was foolish enough to step on destiny I said, "Fuck it all ... it's all bullshit" and thought I could just as easily erase it all and start over ... but there are signs that we can't ignore there are markers that we can't deny there is the force that draws the spirits like a magnet that makes the words unnecessary (yes even there I chose to be in control) and even now ... it's all there ... I can box it away you can box it away ... but to what end .. you hold the pieces as do I that fit the puzzle we have to face ourselves ... I have done so like walking on coals and we have to face each other ... the end marked a new beginning not destru...

Ten of Wands Hi G. The Ten of Wands calls today to remind you that you are taking on too much. This card tells you that right now you must fine tune your schedule to align yourself with what is truly important. You have been working very hard and all the hard work is paying off. You have reached the end of a cycle, but a new one is on the horizon. In order to get to where you want, you have to delegate and find a rhythm that is more in tune with your path. There is too much going on and too many tasks at hand. Sort out what is important and remove the rest. Stay focused on your true path! All is unfolding! The ten of wands shows up to remind you that you are not meant to do this all alone. You have been burning the candle at both ends. Your work has greatly paid off and you are setting up your life exactly how you want it to be. However, there is more to do. And part of it is to recognize that you cannot nor want to do it all. Today is a day for you to step back and clear your spac...

"Never give up on a dream. Just be on the lookout for the signs that lead you to it." : Paulo Coelho

every now and then I have a dream about you mostly in the dream I feel your presence out there somewhere and there have been some hot dreams last night i dreamt that you were talking to me I won't write what you said ... but there were others and they spoke to me too and I wondered in the dream about why and I didn't look anything like myself even in the dream I was very concerned that you didn't recognize me and in fact you didn't ... it wasn't until you started talking that I realized you were talking about me but not the me in this dream

it occurs to me, just looking at myself right now, today, that all in all, I prefer the current state by that I mean that i prefer loneliness alone than loneliness with a parapet. I know, it sounds harsh ... but often our loneliness leads us to settle for less than what we want, desire, deserve ... to find someone with whom you click at a deep level is really a very difficult thing ... it happens over a long time and it takes work, patience, dedication, and humbleness ... qualities that we have to develop as individuals and that are all the more difficult to develop with someone else. So, as human that we are, we often settle for the easier connection, the physical -- we need it anyway and it is easily accessible ... we play games with ourselves and we play at having a deeper, more significant connection with someone with whom we sometimes have little to nothing in common other than some interest in this or that other superficial activity and, of course, sex --- again, which we ne...

I guess change for the sake of change is not the best thing ... but change that forces us to move forward is ... and what feels good and is comfortable and keeps us feeling safe doesn't necessarily lead to emotional or spiritual growth ... in fact, it often leads to boredom and stagnation

How much must you know of my past? How will you find me with old maps when so many of my roads are brand new? :Amanda Torrini

And to close off the topic... the funniest thing about my experiment is that the "top" I was talking with was just posturing for my benefit ... I guess create the manly-man fantasy ... I have more masculinity in my pinky finger (yes, damn it, my pinky) than he does in his whole role playing john Wayne posturing body ... Be fucking real ... just be a man... Why do gays find that so hard? ... and ultimately he felt more like a bottom to me ... Whatever really ... just be yourself top or bottom ....

so it's funny how people have been posting on Facebook stories about emotional and physical abuse in couples ... so here are some questions to ask yourself ... - does my partner always wants to assert his dominance over me whether in private, in public or with friends? - my partner always has to show off around friends to indicate he is the dominant one. - does he/she make all the plans? - does your partner sabotage all your plans with your friends by making other plans even when he knows you have plans? - does your partner make plans and then makes you feel that you agreed to them? - do I wait around for him/her to call me or come over or ask me over? - my partner will not let me initiate encounters. - my partner will often disappear with no explanation. - I often find myself trying to track where my partner is. - my partner makes me feel insecure about our relationship by his demeanor and behavior. - does he make me feel foolish when I try to make jokes or be light ...

"A man matures when he can navigate the waters of his own destiny; when the words in his heart are clear and he has the courage to heed them. Lonely is the man who let's others guide his path." [G·P·T] Love (Letter to the Corinthians) ♡♥♡ 1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. 4Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7Beareth all things, b...

"It is possible, if you forget all the reasons to make it impossible." : Paulo Coelho

So yesterday I tried to be and confirmed I could not play the bottom. So I meet the guy who is a "top" and appears to be a nice guy and all so I figure, wht not, let me expand my horizons. Before my eyes the guy underwent a transformation: took ona cold demeanor, staring me down and talking to me as if I were a child or his property ... I didnt slap him because I wanted to play out my experiment. It did remind me of this time I was talking to this guy friend of mine and his man came along and looked at him menacingly as if asking "why are you talking to someone you know I disapprove of?" The "man" walked away in a huff and texted something to my friend who turned red and immediately went home like a scared puppy--his Guido had given him the order to go home. The funny and sad thing is that he seemed both scared and pleased by the text. How? I do not understand it ... why let someone control you in that way? Isnt that called emotional abuse? And that i...

Love is not a desire, it is not a knowledge, it is not admiration. It's a challenge, a fire that burns unseen. : Paulo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello

zero for naught the very beginning or end of a thing the signifier of nothing emptiness "personified" as it were in a symbol whose shape is believed to represent perfection the reality is that a zero, by its mere existence, negates its symbolism.

To: Itty bitty shitty committee From: LookerQ I regret to inform you that your services are no longer wanted, needed or required effective immediately. Thank you for your tireless efforts to keep me stuck. Yours Truly {LookerQ AKA Me}

Life is too short. Stuck in a relationship where there's no love is just not worth it.

"Your looks don't really matter to me as long as you have a nice cock." "Any age or ethnicity. Just have a big cock" "Not picky about looks. Just be Latino or black and have a big uncut cock." "I'm crazy about Latino and dark skin men. My door is open. Free cumdump." "Use my holes. No reciprocation necessary or desired." etc etc etc

Without commitment, life will leave you feeling unfulfilled. A relationship without trust and commitment is like pushing a door that says PULL. It just won't work. Commitment doesn't mean sticking to a person when you don't have any option, it means keeping a relationship with someone even though you have lots of options.

i tire of sifting through disconnected faces wasting energy in a humdrum routine of longings reaching a momentary high, more personal and solitary each time replaying a role that tires subjecting myself to the energy of lusting spirits to end a solitude that lingers far beyond no drug can cure it, no game can satisfy it the body as body will perform its function the heart disengaged from the momentary pleasure the spirit in discomfort, its flame diminished the comforting routine of a familiar body the satisfying climax, the empty embrace whose pleasing feel is purely physical the lacking emotion on which we pretend the reality of the moment when we look at eachother and we know that it isn't what we keep hoping for and yet we let out loneliness play us like a puppet.

Universal 6 Card Spread Card 1 (The Emperor) : How you feel about yourself now   » You feel that success and achievement are on their way to you. A man of significance will provide his support, perhaps your father, husband/partner or boss - whoever it is, he will give you steady support. You feel confident and able to influence people and events, as you have a great sense of your own authority. Expect promotion at work or achieving greater status in life. If you have been a victim of ill will be assured that you will win in the end. Card 2 (Wheel Of Fortune) : What you most want at this moment   » The cards suggest that what you most want at this time is a turning point in your life and positive change - well expect it now. Life will go up a gear or two and events will accelerate forward. Destiny is at play here - have you noticed a number of events that seem rather a coincidence? This is synchroni...

why do i, time be damned why do i {the words that the fingers fear} the words that make me feel foolish-- why do i despite the past that rings in stagnant streams of lost time why do i not the fear of being "the me inside my head" why do i think about you and want to have the power to see beyond the calendars that have marked our faces who do i because then with you present i did not feel lonely or wandering out aimlessly and it took the fallout of a cursed moment to have understood it.

another Saturday night and the city lights shine brightest in the cool weather of a late spring night, the clickity click and clickity clack of dress shoes leaves and echo in the drowning broom broom of Saturday traffic the pretty girls of the LES all dressed in short short and short skirts their beautiful long legs balancing their weigh on the rabbit ear shoes that will spark the loins of an unsuspecting yet wanting wanton boy the libidinous energy that soaks it all thickens the air and all the boys and girls, gay and straight and everywhere in between rush up and down the avenues, crisscross the streets everyone, everyone is looking for release and love sits waiting to be absorbed, fertilized, noticed love is love if even for a momentary eternity the lofty minds of the automatons lost in the moments as well "you can't choose who to love, but you can chose who to be with" the sage words of the lonely & dejected resound heavy in the heart.

Hi G***. The Emperor Represents The Path Of Power, Obedience And Control... The Emperor Is The Father And Builder Of Structures And Assumes Command Of His Life, Environment, Body, Temperament, Instincts And Affairs Of Love... The Story About Zeus In Mythic Tarot, and Greek Mythology, you meet Zeus (the god of the sky, weather patterns, and unexpected thunder bolts). Zeus was the king of the gods, and the ruler of Mount Olympus. He was married to Hera, and it was said, in legend, that Zeus also had many wives and lovers, and fathered many children with his numerous affairs and cheating escapades. Although Zeus cheated on his wife, he was worshipped for his kindness and wisdom for others as he got older, a ruler with strong ethical codes.  Zeus was the god of the sky, and he controlled the weather patterns, bringing dramatic lightning storms, floods, droughts, but also good weather patterns. In legend, it was said that when lightning struck the earth, everyone knew Zeus was very c...

so no, it hasn't been as easy as I though ... the roots are too deep, base is too strong, the feelings too deep ... it's not a simple out of sigh out of mind ... or the ease with which in the past I could have said that it was not what I wanted ... or the ease with which I could turn and look in another direction and all would be forgotten ... no ... it is not that easy now ... and, at the risk of sounding overly dramatic, it feels like something inside me is slowly and painfully dying, starving slowly ... makes me wish I was elsewhere where I could start over again ... all things forgotten

to read with fear my own desires play hide and seek with self time and again bury myself in the pleasures of the flesh to drown out the rumbling that comes from the heart and once all is said and done find myself lonely, if not alone ready to begin the cycle once again ... shutting my voice to heed the voice of others is that the destiny that God intended? I think not!

Success is the art of distinguishing false friends and true enemies. : Paul Coelho

it wasn't time again the energy of want of desire of love remains not consumed not spent we don't created nor destroy it nor decide the vision that it takes and no, it can't be transferred either but we, as humble humans, can pretend

Beyond my fantasy your heart beats. My desires cast a spell that awakes in me the need to touch your body, my hands on your chest and run my fingers down the length of your body; the need to press my lips against your neck and know what your skin tastes like; let my hands discover your white skin the smooth curves of your back blending down to your ass and thighs up to your broad shoulder hold in my hands your strength the hardness of your cock pulsates; enjoy the rhythm of your tongue dancing with mine seeking the smell of your breath our bodies intertwining and feel you mine beyond the words on the page.

Más allá de mi fantasía Tu corazón late Mi deseo, que domina la imaginacion despierta las ansias de tocar tu cuerpo, poner mis manos en tu pecho, redondear mis dedos en todo tu cuerpo sentir mis labios recorrer tu cuello, conocer el sabor de tu piel, dejar que mis manos descubran tu cuerpo las suaves curvas de tu espalda los muslos de tu entrepiernas la blancura de tus nalgas la rigidez de tu masculinidad quiero saborear tus labios gozar el ritmo de tu lengua y la mía Entrelazados nuestros cuerpos sentirte mío más allá de mi fantasia.

The sun will stand as your best man And whistle When you have found the courage To marry forgiveness When you have found the courage to marry Love. : Hafiz of Persia

In time one learns to differentiate between friends and vultures: Friends are those that, when you fall apart, help you pick up the pieces to make you whole again. Vultures are those that wait for you to fall apart to just pick up the pieces and consume them--or use them in for their interests or that of their friends. In the spiritual world, the vultures are called parasitic spirits.

It is also good to love: because love is difficult. For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. That is why young people, who are beginners in everything, are not yet capable of love: it is something they must learn. With their whole being, with all their forces, gathered around their solitary, anxious, upward-beating heart, they must learn to love. But learning-time is always a long, secluded time, and therefore loving, for a long time ahead and far on into life, is: solitude, a heightened and deepened kind of aloneness for the person who loves. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person (for what would a union be of two people who are unclarified, unfinished, and still incoherent?), it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in himself, ...

i won't worry the heat the cold the wind rain and snow are beyond my control and so is love as nature manages the elements so I let the universe shine its power not an abdication but rather a realization that when the light shines in another it is the universe speaking there is no time for analysis or fears the power of love works in a perfection that is beyond our capacity i don't believe in piercing cupids but do believe in galloping Hephaestus and the gallant Prometheus who deliver fire and the creative force and do too believe in the many Odysseys we must endure to clean our earthly shadows

a new chapter to start the semblance of past relationships unfolds the irony of the moment to provide advice and insight about those others whom I understand so well the mistakes of my past unfolding in other much like a shadow puppet play it is the irony of life that has placed me here now to watch my errors be replayed by other in almost elaborately painful detail the words, the gestures, the end result they all replay themselves and I have been asked each time to help sort it out, to provide insight to advice ... and the truth is--as much as truth can be truth that this feels too raw

We're all governed by four invisible forces: love, death, power and time. Whoever says money should go back to kindergarten. : Paul Coelho

the day is a stream of memories that mark the days that pass in wanton exactitude like photographs streaming through endless loops with words that flow in and out of consciousness beating the walls of the brain the heart in ever hopeful loving tunes and mind that sifts through reasons yet unproven unheard untold the body aching longing wanting the warmth of a body that body and the heart as well wanting that heart and time that passes like jets of water that aim to drown it all .... and yet!

Hi G**. Today's card roars in with a creative force, Divine purpose, and pure ecstatic fervor! The Ace of Wands is the essences Goddess Shakti in all her splendor! This card represents creation, beginning, fortune, and adventure. Your wildest dreams manifesting, the seeds are planted, taking root, and growing, growing, growing! The Hindu Goddess Shakti is responsible for creation, she is the embodiment of the primordial cosmic energy, She is the influx for change. She brings to you now along with the Ace of Wands, your highest Self in your purest form. She reminds you that you, too, have this power within you and you need only focus your attention. Get excited and let the balls start a rolling! The Ace of Wands as depicted here in from artist Paul Edwards shows a Goddess of creation, with her hair of fire. Fire is the energy of creation. She holds in her hand her wand and with it she can do anything! She moves with the flow of the universe, and never worries about the outcome...

can't write - the words don't flow can't write - the body refuses can't write - the mind won't can't write - the heart is occupied can't write - the will isn't there can't write - the connection weakens

Blake said that the body was the soul's prison unless the five senses are fully developed and open. He considered the senses the 'windows of the soul.' When sex involves all the senses intensely, it can be like a mystical experience. : Jim Morrison

the murmur of the heart is enough to keep the city awake the maddening echo that keep the vigil the random wreckage of the spirit the murmur of the heart won't cease to be not today, not tomorrow, not the day after it ticks and tocks against the mind the reasoning that sands the walls of the mind the dripping that dries the body the murmur of the heart that sits beyond words beyond reproach, resentment, sadness the love that burns itself on itself the building and rebuilding with ashes the murmur of the heart, its clean cymbal-like notes resounds against the walls of longings the extrication of time from memories the pieces that forms a whole that still needs

Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering. Paulo Coelho One of the most dangerous forms of human error is forgetting what one is trying to achieve. Paul Nitze The crime of loving is forgetting. Maurice Chevalier

"Love is the only thing that activates intelligence and creativity, something that purifies and frees us." :: Paulo Coelho

The phantoms of memory still haunt my nights even in dream images and sensations overwhelm but as always, wakefulness watches over its master. At the end of all dreams words are found the spell that when cast starts it all.

For a long time I believed the psychological mumbo jumbo that victims of abuse fell pray to their abusers, that the abusers seeked out potential victims and drew them into their lair of abuse. But having observed many people around me, I now see that in many instances the abused actually seek out their abusers. The abused are not "innocent victims," they are active participants in the dysfunctional game. They go out and seek people who have the traits of an abuser and then engage them and in fact draw them in--whether sexually, economically or both. These so-called victims seek abuse, they desire it--often sexualize it. I have observed this in both hetero and homosexual couples where one partner is abusive. In fact, often the abuser wants to disengage but the "victim" keep drawing him back. The abused becomes more submissive to keep his abuser engaged -- this behavior on the part of the abused in fact causes the abuser to become more abusive. He owns his victim ...

There is a kind of elevation which does not depend on fortune; it is a certain air which distinguishes us ... it is a price which we imperceptibly set upon ourselves. Francois de La Rochefoucauld You place a value upon yourself by which others measure, treat and respond to you. People will treat you with love and kindness: or will use, dismiss and take you for granted ... you allow either to be true by what you project to others

los fantasmas del recuerdo aun habitan mis noches aún en los sueños imágenes o sensaciones se interponen pero siempre la vigilia cuida de su amo Al final de todo sueño se encuentra la palabra El hechizo nuevo que lo emprende todo

sometimes I read these and they make me laugh ... this could apply to anyone and it probably does ... regardless, the message is right on the money ... For the Week of Jun 9th, 2014 -- You're a hopeless romantic these days, thanks to enchanting Neptune making an extended visit to your partnership sector. You want to see only the best in your mate, and for someone with such a discerning personality, this is not necessarily a bad thing. This week, however, you might take off the rose-colored glasses long enough to notice a flaw in the actual human being you love. How do you handle it? With more love.

Open the night with it's glory Love that were settled away are stirred by passions Silence in the twilight sleeps no more. The light that flows beneath it all Cradles all hearts in its bossom.

to those who took my vivacity, I tell you now I am taking it back, I am reclaiming it I give you back the brooding, resentful sadness you left behind I take my happiness back and I give you the darkness you left behind I take my joy back and graciously give you back the melancholy that is yours I rejoin the light and blissful spirits that have been my companions and to you I return the parasitic spirits you sent my way those that drain the vital force and love from body and spirit I take back my spontaneity and give you back your measured posturing this day I reclaim my gifts of love joy and gratitude and I reclaim the light that is mine ... I rejoin body and spirit in all my expressions and as it is written, "Let the dead bury their dead."

if it is love we seek, then it is love that we must build on the sweet courage of the words to claim it the honesty that feeds the trust to nurture it the maturity and self awareness to grow it the closeness and intimacy to reap its fruit the intensity of feeling that the other brings. if it is a fuck you seek, then the physical defines it the posturing to entice the mate the tacit agreement to the encounters playing the roles that brings each the pleasures accepting that closeness is just a necessity to fulfill the pact the satisfaction of body and the hunger of heart the knowledge that the body whose warmth we enjoy is just that.

the morning starts like any other the rush of energy that wakes me the lingering silence from the night a pause to the humming that disturbs in the morning cool mist air perspectives shift there is a certain clarity to it all the first few rays of sun warm to the touch reveals the truth that once was hidden

. The Empress Represents The Path Of Giving Birth To Life. The Empress Is The Mother Of Earth And The Goddess Of Fertility. She Represents The Birth Of Love, Romantic Relationships, Motherhood, And Growth… In Mystic Tarot, and Greek Mythology, you meet Demeter, the goddess of the Earth, agriculture and fertility. She brings the blessing of a bountiful growing season and harvest, or the disaster of a failing growing season of drought and floods that brings starvation and hunger… Demeter was the wife of Zeus (the god of the sky, weather patterns, and unexpected thunder bolts) and the mother of Persephone. Persephone grew up to be a beautiful young woman of child-bearing age who was loved and adored by her mother, family and friends. One day, Persephone went to collect flowers when, suddenly without warning, the Earth opened, and Hades, the god of the underworld, snatched her away. Hades was so captivated by her beauty that he wanted her for himself and carried her off to the underw...

The force that through the green fuse drives the flower Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees Is my destroyer. And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose My youth is bent by the same wintry fever. ~~Dylan Thomas Man, if I had Shakespeare's talents or even drunk old Dylan's I don't know what words I'd utter The senses churning, the heart Yes my poor heart who has become my prisoner What words would I send out? Who would even read, let alone heed The words I would have cast I I could express the force that woke me ...

The more you trust your intuition, the more empowered you become, the stronger you become, and the happier you become. :: Gisele Bundchen Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish. :: Barbara Smith Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. :: Joyce Brothers A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. :: Charles Spurgeon

The gods of fate and time are somewhere laughing their ass off The tightly wound destiny of blunders keeps replaying itself It's either fear or comfort or the path of least resistance Bifurcating the roads ahead There has to be a lesson in courage being served With all the tasty ingridients of a sad comedy of errors. But, as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger Or just prolongue the inevitable death. Hopefully the body will go Before the death of heart and spirit. It's funny really ... how sometimes when the path seems clear There's that shiny object yonder which takes us away from our path can we resist and move forward Or does the cycle begin again ... I'm wont to theorize that we're born and reborn all in this life time There is no other life to try to be

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Albert Schweitzer

Why sometimes awake I dream The thought of all that was built with love The heart that is far and closer still A look, a word not said The gesture that the heart demands There no words or too many words, I don't know A journey to be had, to be forged And myself who seeks that other still

my own thought ... and so it came to me the why I have been searching and it explains all else that hasn't quite fit for so long. It is true that nothing that happens is accidental, nothing we do is pointless, nothing we learn is wasted effort, and everything we build with heart stands the test of time and of all else and of everyone else ... fortunately the universe is much more gentler, forgiving and generous with us than we are with ourselves.

"Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over." :: Octavia Butler ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Control your own destiny or someone else will. ::Jack Welch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bottom line: God will not allow any person to keep you from your destiny. They may be bigger, stronger, or more powerful, but God knows how to shift things around and get you to where you're supposed to be. :: Joel Osteen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny. :: James Allen my own thought ... and so it came to me the why I have been searching and it explains all else that h...

it was a funny dream the hallway, the clothes--all beige the stairways was a nice touch the double set of doors was interesting detail the room itself in deep reds and I loved the playpen for the cats and then you in a style all new and you the same and people in other rooms asking and you giving and I threw myself on the floor and the cats came running and I woke up when someone spoke and I feel a sense of nostalgia