so as it wast; not in the now

Lost in my own darkness
Lost in fear, lost in regrets
Lost is indecipherable anger
Lost in the illlusion of normalcy
Castigating myself for perceived inadequacy turning to ashes the feelings of those around
Unable to show vulnerabily
Fearful others would condemn & deride,
Chide at my efforts
Their mocking faces shaming ...
So, yes, that is a version of hell
I will never see again.

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