Thoughts on returning to an ex
so yeah, I have been feeling a little lonely and perhaps even horny. A guy I like is, well, just a friend and not interested in me anyway and attached to his ex's cock ... so there is an ex that has been circling me and wants to re-engage; and I was foolishly considering it--after all, I have nothing going on in my romantic life right now. But then, I see this guy I just mentioned and his relationship with his ex: unhealthy, dissatisfying and possibly even abusive... not friends and not lovers ... and I have been talking to a new-found friend who is going through a fairly ugly break-up with an ex with whom he had broken up and returned to several times. He now regrets those decisions deeply and is asking himself why he kept doing it, why did he keep returning; he now even questions why he was EVER with the guy to begin with; the fact is that he learned whatever he was supposed to learn and can now move on -- but before moving on, he has to heal the deep wounds that relationship has left ... yes, I know that feeling of ending a relationship that leaves you wounded to the point you can't really enter into a new relationship with anyone for a while ... any immediate ties are just rebounds that will not last ... and now that I am healed, do I want to re-engage with a past that was cast aside and for good reasons???
so no, I do not want to go down that route. Loneliness can be a bitch sometimes; and as for sex, well, it's easy enough to find decent fuck buddies -- plenty of cool bottoms in NYC LOL
So google is a nifty tool. I googled going back to an ex, and got his nice article--see below
Yes, it is true, there is a reason I broke up with this guy--and, though he's a nice guy overall, he's still the same guy I broke up with and the same potential points of discord are still there. This guy, like anyone of us, has traits that are inherent in his personality and he will not change. He has a philosophy of life and an outlook quite different from mine ... he grew up in a different belief system... his expectations for a relationship are ingrained in him ... all those factors are still there--he has not been reprogrammed!!
The familiarity is ok, but I even find it hard having him as a friend. I would have to sacrifice too much of myself to be with him and I am not willing to do that just for some companionship and sex. I've already walked down that path before with someone else, and I see this guy I mentioned above going through the motions--his ever lasting cycle of breakups and make ups that are damaging his self esteem and his emotional well being to a degree that it will take him a couple of years of being completely alone to recover ... but for now he's getting his cock fix and that makes him sexually satisfied for a couple of hours every so often ... hiding from his friends and I think even from himself the fact that the situation makes him deeply unhappy, as well as the fact that he's almost helpless in remedying the situation ... he can't and won't--that will most likely end when his ex moves on to someone else--if he hasn't already done so.
Do I want to be in that situation?? Hell no ... well, that fact is that it is not my personality to sacrifice my well being ... I am not some helpless bottom whose need for cock supersedes emotional health and well being.
So, while I find a partner, I will keep my fuck buddies ... why not, sex is fun and I'm always horny ... LOL
Here are some quotes from the net article:
You’re hanging on for the wrong reasons: There is a very good chance that you have outgrown this relationship, you’re just not ready to admit it. Being alone can be scary. Getting back together with an ex is a quick fix for loneliness. Sure, he does some crappy things but at least you know what to expect which is better than facing the unknown. Right? Wrong! Instead of moving forward towards someone who will actually make you happy, you’re relegating yourself to relationship purgatory with a guy who didn’t treat you right the first time around.
You’re embarrassed to tell your friends you’re dating again:
If you know your friends will react with dropped jaws, looks of disgust or pained “Seriously, what are you thinking?!” comments, this should be the #1 sign that you shouldn’t get back together with this person. As much as we hate to admit it, the people who love us sometimes know what’s best for us even when we don’t. If you can imagine your friends reacting this way its because they know that this dude is a bad apple. Deep down you know this too. It’s time to man-up and be honest with yourself – you’ll thank yourself later.
so no, I do not want to go down that route. Loneliness can be a bitch sometimes; and as for sex, well, it's easy enough to find decent fuck buddies -- plenty of cool bottoms in NYC LOL
So google is a nifty tool. I googled going back to an ex, and got his nice article--see below
Yes, it is true, there is a reason I broke up with this guy--and, though he's a nice guy overall, he's still the same guy I broke up with and the same potential points of discord are still there. This guy, like anyone of us, has traits that are inherent in his personality and he will not change. He has a philosophy of life and an outlook quite different from mine ... he grew up in a different belief system... his expectations for a relationship are ingrained in him ... all those factors are still there--he has not been reprogrammed!!
The familiarity is ok, but I even find it hard having him as a friend. I would have to sacrifice too much of myself to be with him and I am not willing to do that just for some companionship and sex. I've already walked down that path before with someone else, and I see this guy I mentioned above going through the motions--his ever lasting cycle of breakups and make ups that are damaging his self esteem and his emotional well being to a degree that it will take him a couple of years of being completely alone to recover ... but for now he's getting his cock fix and that makes him sexually satisfied for a couple of hours every so often ... hiding from his friends and I think even from himself the fact that the situation makes him deeply unhappy, as well as the fact that he's almost helpless in remedying the situation ... he can't and won't--that will most likely end when his ex moves on to someone else--if he hasn't already done so.
Do I want to be in that situation?? Hell no ... well, that fact is that it is not my personality to sacrifice my well being ... I am not some helpless bottom whose need for cock supersedes emotional health and well being.
So, while I find a partner, I will keep my fuck buddies ... why not, sex is fun and I'm always horny ... LOL
Here are some quotes from the net article:
You’re hanging on for the wrong reasons: There is a very good chance that you have outgrown this relationship, you’re just not ready to admit it. Being alone can be scary. Getting back together with an ex is a quick fix for loneliness. Sure, he does some crappy things but at least you know what to expect which is better than facing the unknown. Right? Wrong! Instead of moving forward towards someone who will actually make you happy, you’re relegating yourself to relationship purgatory with a guy who didn’t treat you right the first time around.
You’re embarrassed to tell your friends you’re dating again:
If you know your friends will react with dropped jaws, looks of disgust or pained “Seriously, what are you thinking?!” comments, this should be the #1 sign that you shouldn’t get back together with this person. As much as we hate to admit it, the people who love us sometimes know what’s best for us even when we don’t. If you can imagine your friends reacting this way its because they know that this dude is a bad apple. Deep down you know this too. It’s time to man-up and be honest with yourself – you’ll thank yourself later.