Thoughts on FWB
how do you reconcile the fact that you have an intimate sexual relationship with someone, the fact that you do not have an emotional bond but have expectations that go beyond friendship?
I imagine resentment will be deeply imbued in that arrangement ... feelings of anger will emerge as a result of feeling used, of having to perform a role that is not emotionally fulfilling but that should be ... of feeling locked into a deal that will in the end yield no results other than the occasional sexual gratification ...
I imagine people locked in such an arrangement are prone to subtle hostility and perhaps even outright physical aggression. Worse yet, what happens if feelings develop that go ignored, unrequited? How do you deal with emotional needs that go unmet or half met? How do you deal with the fact that, after all is said and done, you were nothing more than a piece of meat that someone else used to satisfy their sexual desires? That your reward is a quasi friendship and some empty physical companionship? That ultimately you're not good enough for a relationship but are just basically a live dildo or fleshlight that makes itself available to help someone masturbate? How satisfying is that?
I imagine after such an encounter, one would walk home feeling empty, angry with oneself and resentful or at least as if there was something missing that we can't quite pinpoint ... on top of feeling used ... the questions, "why am I doing this?" must come up regularly ... and I even imagine that such encounters are eventually no even sexually gratifying ... sex without emotion, especially as one matures, leaves a deeper emptiness and dissatisfaction ... and yes, a feeling of anger and resentment will develop against the other as much as against ourselves ... or what if it is a one-sided relationship? then what? fake intimacy during the sexual act that leaves you hanging dry in the end when you inevitably walk home wondering why ...
The real questions here is, why would individuals engage in such arrangements long term? What emotional walls have they erected around themselves and eachother that make it difficult or perhaps even impossible for them to develop deeper, fulfilling emotional/psycho-sexual bonds? Are they avoiding a relationship with eachother? With others? or, have they chosen to settle for eachother out of comfort despite the fact that the relationship doesn't fully meet their needs?
what is a FWB anyway?
I imagine resentment will be deeply imbued in that arrangement ... feelings of anger will emerge as a result of feeling used, of having to perform a role that is not emotionally fulfilling but that should be ... of feeling locked into a deal that will in the end yield no results other than the occasional sexual gratification ...
I imagine people locked in such an arrangement are prone to subtle hostility and perhaps even outright physical aggression. Worse yet, what happens if feelings develop that go ignored, unrequited? How do you deal with emotional needs that go unmet or half met? How do you deal with the fact that, after all is said and done, you were nothing more than a piece of meat that someone else used to satisfy their sexual desires? That your reward is a quasi friendship and some empty physical companionship? That ultimately you're not good enough for a relationship but are just basically a live dildo or fleshlight that makes itself available to help someone masturbate? How satisfying is that?
I imagine after such an encounter, one would walk home feeling empty, angry with oneself and resentful or at least as if there was something missing that we can't quite pinpoint ... on top of feeling used ... the questions, "why am I doing this?" must come up regularly ... and I even imagine that such encounters are eventually no even sexually gratifying ... sex without emotion, especially as one matures, leaves a deeper emptiness and dissatisfaction ... and yes, a feeling of anger and resentment will develop against the other as much as against ourselves ... or what if it is a one-sided relationship? then what? fake intimacy during the sexual act that leaves you hanging dry in the end when you inevitably walk home wondering why ...
The real questions here is, why would individuals engage in such arrangements long term? What emotional walls have they erected around themselves and eachother that make it difficult or perhaps even impossible for them to develop deeper, fulfilling emotional/psycho-sexual bonds? Are they avoiding a relationship with eachother? With others? or, have they chosen to settle for eachother out of comfort despite the fact that the relationship doesn't fully meet their needs?
what is a FWB anyway?