Quote of the Day: Victims and their addiction to victimhood
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
: Samuel Butler
{and if I may add to this, "man is the only animal that will remain with its predator until it is eaten."}
Victims always feel alone and helpless.
: Deepak Chopra
I see people in my life who have places themselves in the position of the victim. They suffer from emotional manipulation and abuse, financial manipulation and even physical abuse, and yet they remain attached to those that are using them--unhappy and dissatisfied as they may be--as long as they get the crumbs of attention thrown their way, quite often in the form or sexual domination ... something that may look and feel like love but that is nothing more than the rope that ties them to their unhappiness. And these poor saps defend their tormentor and some even grow to love them; they become comfortable in their position as victim and abdicate the dominion of their happiness and fulfillment to some one else; and their tormentors will exercise their control first by making them completely reliant in them emotionally, then by isolating them from the people that truly love and have their best interest in mind, and, once they have them fully under their control, they will subtlety and overtly threaten to withdraw their affections--and even do it whether by "dating" someone else or by making themselves unavailable. This is meant to punish the victim for trying to regain control over their lives. And the victim is so weakened, so insecure and has such low self esteem at this point, that they willingly submit to the abuse time and time again and will even be more pliable and submissive with their tormentor. The funny thing here is that often both abused and abuser feel that this is the right order of things ... one person abuses, controls, and the other submits to the abuse ... the strong controls the weak --the corruption of the ying and yang, male and female roles ...
.
The means describes the end: Co-dependency or other forms of dysfunction.
The most interesting to watch is when the tormentor walks away with the full knowledge that his victim will call him back, re-engage and then subjugate himself even more, will bury himself deeper and deeper in his misery. Then the submissive goes out and showers his tormentor with gifts ... will buy him things to keep him happy and show his affection and submission ... and the tormentor will play his magnanimous role and handout affection in the form of his precious companionship and sexual gratification {the love the victim so badly craves} ... Jesus, how sad!!
I have come to the conclusion that these victims are addicted to their situation. Just as the brain releases "feel-good" chemicals when we're happy so it releases a set of chemicals when one is sad or in a depressive state. It has been proved that many people become addicted to those chemicals and seek to maintain the situation that makes them feel bad so that the brain can continue to release the "feel-bad" chemicals they have now become addicted to.
I have absolutely no respect or compassion for an adult who plays the victim. They get what they deserve.They consciously choose to give up control of their happiness to someone else who not only makes them unhappy but does not respect them; and they keep abdicating control everyday of their life that they wake up and choose to remain in the same situation--whatever the justification {we're just friends so it doesn't really affect me--this is my favorite}. It's truly laughable and pathetic. I personally would prefer to be alone than have someone else manage my happiness or make me feel unhappy and play with my emotions and manipulate me with their affections. Perhaps for some truly dysfunctional folks, this is a manifestation of love.
I could just vomit.
: Samuel Butler
{and if I may add to this, "man is the only animal that will remain with its predator until it is eaten."}
Victims always feel alone and helpless.
: Deepak Chopra
I see people in my life who have places themselves in the position of the victim. They suffer from emotional manipulation and abuse, financial manipulation and even physical abuse, and yet they remain attached to those that are using them--unhappy and dissatisfied as they may be--as long as they get the crumbs of attention thrown their way, quite often in the form or sexual domination ... something that may look and feel like love but that is nothing more than the rope that ties them to their unhappiness. And these poor saps defend their tormentor and some even grow to love them; they become comfortable in their position as victim and abdicate the dominion of their happiness and fulfillment to some one else; and their tormentors will exercise their control first by making them completely reliant in them emotionally, then by isolating them from the people that truly love and have their best interest in mind, and, once they have them fully under their control, they will subtlety and overtly threaten to withdraw their affections--and even do it whether by "dating" someone else or by making themselves unavailable. This is meant to punish the victim for trying to regain control over their lives. And the victim is so weakened, so insecure and has such low self esteem at this point, that they willingly submit to the abuse time and time again and will even be more pliable and submissive with their tormentor. The funny thing here is that often both abused and abuser feel that this is the right order of things ... one person abuses, controls, and the other submits to the abuse ... the strong controls the weak --the corruption of the ying and yang, male and female roles ...
.
The means describes the end: Co-dependency or other forms of dysfunction.
The most interesting to watch is when the tormentor walks away with the full knowledge that his victim will call him back, re-engage and then subjugate himself even more, will bury himself deeper and deeper in his misery. Then the submissive goes out and showers his tormentor with gifts ... will buy him things to keep him happy and show his affection and submission ... and the tormentor will play his magnanimous role and handout affection in the form of his precious companionship and sexual gratification {the love the victim so badly craves} ... Jesus, how sad!!
I have come to the conclusion that these victims are addicted to their situation. Just as the brain releases "feel-good" chemicals when we're happy so it releases a set of chemicals when one is sad or in a depressive state. It has been proved that many people become addicted to those chemicals and seek to maintain the situation that makes them feel bad so that the brain can continue to release the "feel-bad" chemicals they have now become addicted to.
I have absolutely no respect or compassion for an adult who plays the victim. They get what they deserve.They consciously choose to give up control of their happiness to someone else who not only makes them unhappy but does not respect them; and they keep abdicating control everyday of their life that they wake up and choose to remain in the same situation--whatever the justification {we're just friends so it doesn't really affect me--this is my favorite}. It's truly laughable and pathetic. I personally would prefer to be alone than have someone else manage my happiness or make me feel unhappy and play with my emotions and manipulate me with their affections. Perhaps for some truly dysfunctional folks, this is a manifestation of love.
I could just vomit.