tracing the line

so, I've contemplating so many things ... the whys and hows are always hard to recapture ... and ultimately unimportant ... it's where i am and where i want to go that matters to me now ... and who will come with me in this journey -- or who will take me along can also be ... i feel that now i've been shown the way ... the messenger was, well, a rather interesting choice ... but again, an unimportant detail ... the words even were unimportant ... it was more the map that was drawn ... now to start the walk ... i realize i've known what it is i need to do all along, but have been too afraid or maybe just too insecure ... too unsure that this is where i'm supposed to be to start to go where i need to go .. that everything has been working to this point for the last few months ... and that i have been busily drafting this path, day and night ... that's it's never been about this or that person or situation ... that everyone of those instances was a block paving the road ... that now that i get it, i see that all that has been nothing more than a distraction ... the rodeo clowns that keep the bull from charging ... I really have to laugh ... I've been sitting in this little square with my eyes closed, afraid to open them so as not to see the prison bars that my imagination erected

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