Today's Ruminations
there are times when I... my heart defies logic
and I long for things I know not to long for
confusion sets, and sometimes anger, mostly frustration--
to long for the illogical is setting oneself for sorrow!
why can't I control the heart? -- foolish question, I know
perhaps acceptance of the thing will neutralize it
running away from it clearly does not work, as does not sublimation
perhaps facing it, looking at it, accepting it--
saying ok, yeah, you're there, I see you ...
and through that exercise, the thing loses its power.
in the very least I have to forgive in order to be able to forget--
forgive mostly myself for nurturing this absurd ...
others I've forgiven already--anger now turned toward me--
I have to be ok with the anger,
and have to forgive myself for having false expectation, faulty I should say
I want to say illogical, but matters of the heart defy logic--
impractical I should say, all evidence to the contrary--well, just having had any ...
maybe that's it ... one should not expect ... just let the thing be and unravel
and be an active participant ... reset expectations to a retrospective.
Ultimately I trust in love--yes my gentle reader --despite the anger
or the washed-out resentment, I trust that love will triumph --
true love, as someone recently emphasized--it has to
and looking back, I will realize why today is how it is
and tomorrow a little wider, greater--
my heart freer and open and ready--
I will end the day with the conviction that my love is waiting
and he's just around the corner..
and I long for things I know not to long for
confusion sets, and sometimes anger, mostly frustration--
to long for the illogical is setting oneself for sorrow!
why can't I control the heart? -- foolish question, I know
perhaps acceptance of the thing will neutralize it
running away from it clearly does not work, as does not sublimation
perhaps facing it, looking at it, accepting it--
saying ok, yeah, you're there, I see you ...
and through that exercise, the thing loses its power.
in the very least I have to forgive in order to be able to forget--
forgive mostly myself for nurturing this absurd ...
others I've forgiven already--anger now turned toward me--
I have to be ok with the anger,
and have to forgive myself for having false expectation, faulty I should say
I want to say illogical, but matters of the heart defy logic--
impractical I should say, all evidence to the contrary--well, just having had any ...
maybe that's it ... one should not expect ... just let the thing be and unravel
and be an active participant ... reset expectations to a retrospective.
Ultimately I trust in love--yes my gentle reader --despite the anger
or the washed-out resentment, I trust that love will triumph --
true love, as someone recently emphasized--it has to
and looking back, I will realize why today is how it is
and tomorrow a little wider, greater--
my heart freer and open and ready--
I will end the day with the conviction that my love is waiting
and he's just around the corner..
