The Usurper
there is a particular type of friend ... the usurper ... this is the friend that will gain your confidence and slowly become your confidant, best friend, even a lover or sex partner ... they are skillful and patient in their approach; in fact, they will appear harmless enough that you will invite them in. And, before you know it, they have taken over your social life or are an intricate part of it ...
The usurper will slowly work his way into your social life; and, before you know it, the usurper will be your friend's best friend -- they will wine and dine him, take him on trips, etc while you are standing more and more on the sidelines--unless you are with the usurper ... and, again, before you know it, you and the usurper are a couple ... to your friends, you and the usurper are partners and you go nowhere without him ... the usurper, always present, will sabotage any possible new relationships his victim may want to develop--whether romantic or social--the usurper will become the skillful, romantic lover whenever he sees his victim interested in someone else ... of course, this all ends once the other person disappears ... but victims are already hooked and their weak disposition prevents them from speaking up or confronting the usurper.
of course, it takes two to tango --- the usurper knows how to pick his victim. He will often choose people who are weak, lonely, are unable to confront people and call them on their actions -- the usurper will choose those who remain silent and can be pushed to the limit time and time again ... while the victim plays along, the usurper has the upper hand ... of course, one of the tactics of the usurper is to create distance and distrust between the victim and its friends while he moves into the social circle. He is the darling of the friends, while there is some tension between the victim and his now former good friends... the usurper has gained their confidence and can do no wrong ... he is a great actor--having no real personality of his own, he is a master at impersonation--he will become whoever and whatever the social circle value--the funny guy, the good guy, the sweet guy -- the only thing he cannot fake is being the smart guys since his intelligence is limited, his view of the world narrow ... which is why he must live a life of make-believe ... he will usurp many of his victims traits, including ailments -- allergies, maladies, etc ... he must get the same sympathy that his victim gets but he will become better ... this makes his victim seem like a flake or just an attention seeker ... slowly he diminishes his victims stature in what was once his social circle.
There comes a point where the victim feels trapped by the usurper ... his social life revolves around the usurper and the usurper is always present in all social occasions that include the victims friends ... well, except work and the few people the victim either keeps away from the usurper of those who can see through the usurper and so will not socialize with him--- the usurper will usually figure this out and try to create a wedge ...
what motivates the usurper? envy, resentment, or the feeling of having being rejected ... the usurper will plan carefully and skillfully how to pull the rug from under his victim's feet -- to use a vernacular expression
And, of course his victim, as victims go, will go along out fear of confrontation--even though all along he has seen or sensed what has been happening.
The victim will often feel lonely and dejected but now really know what is going on --- or feel helpless and just let it happen ... these victims have usually been victims in their childhood--and continue to be so through their adult life ... always waiting for someone to come and rescue them--never taking control o their life while usurpers and other predators take advantage of them.
The usurper will slowly work his way into your social life; and, before you know it, the usurper will be your friend's best friend -- they will wine and dine him, take him on trips, etc while you are standing more and more on the sidelines--unless you are with the usurper ... and, again, before you know it, you and the usurper are a couple ... to your friends, you and the usurper are partners and you go nowhere without him ... the usurper, always present, will sabotage any possible new relationships his victim may want to develop--whether romantic or social--the usurper will become the skillful, romantic lover whenever he sees his victim interested in someone else ... of course, this all ends once the other person disappears ... but victims are already hooked and their weak disposition prevents them from speaking up or confronting the usurper.
of course, it takes two to tango --- the usurper knows how to pick his victim. He will often choose people who are weak, lonely, are unable to confront people and call them on their actions -- the usurper will choose those who remain silent and can be pushed to the limit time and time again ... while the victim plays along, the usurper has the upper hand ... of course, one of the tactics of the usurper is to create distance and distrust between the victim and its friends while he moves into the social circle. He is the darling of the friends, while there is some tension between the victim and his now former good friends... the usurper has gained their confidence and can do no wrong ... he is a great actor--having no real personality of his own, he is a master at impersonation--he will become whoever and whatever the social circle value--the funny guy, the good guy, the sweet guy -- the only thing he cannot fake is being the smart guys since his intelligence is limited, his view of the world narrow ... which is why he must live a life of make-believe ... he will usurp many of his victims traits, including ailments -- allergies, maladies, etc ... he must get the same sympathy that his victim gets but he will become better ... this makes his victim seem like a flake or just an attention seeker ... slowly he diminishes his victims stature in what was once his social circle.
There comes a point where the victim feels trapped by the usurper ... his social life revolves around the usurper and the usurper is always present in all social occasions that include the victims friends ... well, except work and the few people the victim either keeps away from the usurper of those who can see through the usurper and so will not socialize with him--- the usurper will usually figure this out and try to create a wedge ...
what motivates the usurper? envy, resentment, or the feeling of having being rejected ... the usurper will plan carefully and skillfully how to pull the rug from under his victim's feet -- to use a vernacular expression
And, of course his victim, as victims go, will go along out fear of confrontation--even though all along he has seen or sensed what has been happening.
The victim will often feel lonely and dejected but now really know what is going on --- or feel helpless and just let it happen ... these victims have usually been victims in their childhood--and continue to be so through their adult life ... always waiting for someone to come and rescue them--never taking control o their life while usurpers and other predators take advantage of them.