captive of silences

I'm chased by a thought, by a sensation
It chases me in moments of silence, pushes my consciousness
it has no words, has no vocabulary
it's a desire that lies beyond desire
a feeling that at times projected strength
and has conquered my subconscious

if I silence my words it tortures me
and grows, grows ever larger in my silence
it takes over my being and condemns me
feeds on my strength and looms ever larger
and frees me yet always keeping me its prisoner

to flee impossible even if I so desire--
captive of my destiny to be with another