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so sometimes there ideas that grow in your mind ... these ideas sometimes have no reason, and sometimes they have instigators ... so lately I have been observing those around me {too much free time on my hands, one might say} and I have been putting together a frame based on what I have observed, have been told, have heard based on certain stereotypes -- and I'm wondering why some extremes have come up ... there is some truth to what I have heard based on my observations ... for instance, I have been told that certain sub types like dominants that make them feel fearful or intimidated -- part of their submissive nature to look for a dominant type that can have the potential to be physically and emotionally dominant-- a bully type --that can sometimes translate to potential physical aggression and/or emotional domination -- basic psychology, or pathology, some might say ... and to some extent I have observed that to be true -- the submissive, by his nature and desire, will submit to the domination {and often abuse} that the dominant exerts -- it is well known terrain for the submissive who most likely has never been empowered to take control of his destiny; submission sublimated into pleasure by early life experiences -- it is human nature to want to remain in what is comfortable and well known and understood ... even while being dominated, there is a sense of control for the submissive ... as I said, the terrain is well understood.
And it is equally the case for those in the dominant position; they have often been dominated themselves and forced into dominant roles or saw examples where one is either dominant or abused {male/female roles often corrupted and misunderstood}.. these dominants cannot achieve rest since they must be in a constant struggle to control others and the environment ... much energy is spent on this endeavor to the point that these people will exhaust themselves and those around them, even those sitting comfortably under their control ...
it is against the human spirit to subjugate or be subjugated ... goes against the fiber of our beings ... and our bodies will rebel against either of these two conditions ...to seek to control others either physically, emotionally, financially, etc, inevitably creates unbalance, disharmony, conflict ... and these manifest overtly or covertly--in subtle and obvious ways -- dissatisfaction, unhappiness, depression and physical ailments are always end results of these conditions ... but we make choices ... sometimes courageous sometimes not so courageous ... sometimes fear of the unknown is stronger than our desire for happiness.
There is also the matter of respect to consider. In both cases, dominant and submissive, they do not or cannot respect those they dominate / are dominated by. The dominant resents the submissive for his weakness and sees him as almost worthless thus the need to dominate them; and the submissive will resent the domination he willingly subjugates to but seeks control in passive aggressive ways, including denial of the situation. The dominant will resent his position of domination as well--the fact the he is placed in a situation where he needs to be in control and cannot be his true self--whatever that may be ...this resentment will manifest itself in aggressive behaviors -- sometimes in physical aggression or subtle denigrating attacks to hurt the submissive's sensibilities -- again, the resentment of the weaker position that he himself fears or has been subjected to. Time only accentuates, fine-tunes the dominants negative behavior as he gains more understanding of how to gain greater psychological control those who willingly submit to him -- eventually a very strong bond is created where the two become almost inextricably locked in a cyclical pattern of hurt and apologies, precarious comfort followed by misery -- where the submissive is always afraid to set off the temper of his dominant; and the dominant will always create situations of disharmony in order to further exert his control.
But again, those are all extremes and we can't box people so easily ... it is also human nature to crave freedom and full realization ... eventually the scale tips, unless the individual's level of tolerance is such that they resign themselves to the situation and just give up all control and perform their roles despite the dissatisfaction it yields ... that too, happens and is part of human nature ... but even there, the spirit will remain unfulfilled, unhappy and will crave a something that the individual may never, ever realize and thus live a life of angst. Again, an extreme ... most will settle for a happy medium of angst offset by occasional moments of relief ... where does happiness come into the picture here?
Ideally we want to be in harmony and balance with our environment and the people around us .. it/they nourish us, help us grow and realize our potential, and we in turn reciprocate; a symbiotic relationship with others and our environment would be the ideal ... only then can we achieve our potential as human beings and reach a higher level and the sense of freedom our spirit desires.
And it is equally the case for those in the dominant position; they have often been dominated themselves and forced into dominant roles or saw examples where one is either dominant or abused {male/female roles often corrupted and misunderstood}.. these dominants cannot achieve rest since they must be in a constant struggle to control others and the environment ... much energy is spent on this endeavor to the point that these people will exhaust themselves and those around them, even those sitting comfortably under their control ...
it is against the human spirit to subjugate or be subjugated ... goes against the fiber of our beings ... and our bodies will rebel against either of these two conditions ...to seek to control others either physically, emotionally, financially, etc, inevitably creates unbalance, disharmony, conflict ... and these manifest overtly or covertly--in subtle and obvious ways -- dissatisfaction, unhappiness, depression and physical ailments are always end results of these conditions ... but we make choices ... sometimes courageous sometimes not so courageous ... sometimes fear of the unknown is stronger than our desire for happiness.
There is also the matter of respect to consider. In both cases, dominant and submissive, they do not or cannot respect those they dominate / are dominated by. The dominant resents the submissive for his weakness and sees him as almost worthless thus the need to dominate them; and the submissive will resent the domination he willingly subjugates to but seeks control in passive aggressive ways, including denial of the situation. The dominant will resent his position of domination as well--the fact the he is placed in a situation where he needs to be in control and cannot be his true self--whatever that may be ...this resentment will manifest itself in aggressive behaviors -- sometimes in physical aggression or subtle denigrating attacks to hurt the submissive's sensibilities -- again, the resentment of the weaker position that he himself fears or has been subjected to. Time only accentuates, fine-tunes the dominants negative behavior as he gains more understanding of how to gain greater psychological control those who willingly submit to him -- eventually a very strong bond is created where the two become almost inextricably locked in a cyclical pattern of hurt and apologies, precarious comfort followed by misery -- where the submissive is always afraid to set off the temper of his dominant; and the dominant will always create situations of disharmony in order to further exert his control.
But again, those are all extremes and we can't box people so easily ... it is also human nature to crave freedom and full realization ... eventually the scale tips, unless the individual's level of tolerance is such that they resign themselves to the situation and just give up all control and perform their roles despite the dissatisfaction it yields ... that too, happens and is part of human nature ... but even there, the spirit will remain unfulfilled, unhappy and will crave a something that the individual may never, ever realize and thus live a life of angst. Again, an extreme ... most will settle for a happy medium of angst offset by occasional moments of relief ... where does happiness come into the picture here?
Ideally we want to be in harmony and balance with our environment and the people around us .. it/they nourish us, help us grow and realize our potential, and we in turn reciprocate; a symbiotic relationship with others and our environment would be the ideal ... only then can we achieve our potential as human beings and reach a higher level and the sense of freedom our spirit desires.