the helpess cock/abuse addicted sub-bottom
the psycho-sexual dependent relationship
so recently have met a couple of very interesting guys--both who were sub bottom. one in particular was of interest. he wanted to have a relationship based on domination. his interest was on having a masculine guy dominate him in and out of bed. this domination would include his submission in bed, being physically punished {slapped} if he misbehaved or didn't do as told; getting discretely slapped in public, having his holes used in any way--even by force, cleaning and doing chores, etc ... his exact words were, "I want an old fashion relationship where the man has full control over his mate" ... I find this fascinating. I can always see this as part of sex play, but I can't see it translated into everyday situations. I could not see myself controlled by anyone or having them slap me and find that hot ... granted, I do find slapping a sub-bottom arousing--but like I said, all in the confines of sex play.
I remember my classes on the "Psychology of Abnormal Behavior" ... many of these deviance are often the result of childhood experiences. for a number of gays, their first introduction to sex or sexual play came in the form of forced or abusive sexual acts. children often abused by older family members or siblings, parents, etc. these men's sexual development develops separately from their emotional development--thus sex and romance seldom intertwine. they also develop a taste for abusive, often extreme, sexual behaviors eroticizing their earlier abusive experiences in an attempt to feel that they are in control--by enjoying the behavior they now own it--not knowing that they are feeding the pain of the experience by keeping it alive. these men also have a very difficult time developing emotional-sexual bonds. they forgo romance and partnership and instead they seek sexually dominant and often emotionally/psychologically manipulative and physically abusive men who will feed their ever growing appetite to replay their earlier abuse. the subs become psychologically/co-dependently attached to these dominant types and the abuse they get, giving up the larger and ever growing need for an emotionally fulfilling relationship. perhaps they find the emotional bond in the dominant type, but that is unlikely since the dominants are also replaying their own psycho-sexual drama--having themselves being abused, sexually or emotionally, and having being forced to take a dominant role or having being bullied by dominant parent figures and witnessing the abuse of siblings and loved ones... they now take control by being the abuser. and, in reality, the submissive only sees a dominant abusive type as a real man, a real top -- any other man is less than that ... although they seek emotional bond, they cannot respect a man who treats them affectionately--such a man is not a real man, not a real top!
these sub/dom types often end-up feeling and ever growing loneliness and unhappiness (a growing hunger for fulfillment) if they do not overcome their deviant psycho-sexual roles; they end up seeking more extreme experiences to fill their loneliness to the point that a "healthy" emotional/sexual bond seems too tame and dissatisfying--and they end up trapped in their lonely search for thesexual thrill.
so recently have met a couple of very interesting guys--both who were sub bottom. one in particular was of interest. he wanted to have a relationship based on domination. his interest was on having a masculine guy dominate him in and out of bed. this domination would include his submission in bed, being physically punished {slapped} if he misbehaved or didn't do as told; getting discretely slapped in public, having his holes used in any way--even by force, cleaning and doing chores, etc ... his exact words were, "I want an old fashion relationship where the man has full control over his mate" ... I find this fascinating. I can always see this as part of sex play, but I can't see it translated into everyday situations. I could not see myself controlled by anyone or having them slap me and find that hot ... granted, I do find slapping a sub-bottom arousing--but like I said, all in the confines of sex play.
I remember my classes on the "Psychology of Abnormal Behavior" ... many of these deviance are often the result of childhood experiences. for a number of gays, their first introduction to sex or sexual play came in the form of forced or abusive sexual acts. children often abused by older family members or siblings, parents, etc. these men's sexual development develops separately from their emotional development--thus sex and romance seldom intertwine. they also develop a taste for abusive, often extreme, sexual behaviors eroticizing their earlier abusive experiences in an attempt to feel that they are in control--by enjoying the behavior they now own it--not knowing that they are feeding the pain of the experience by keeping it alive. these men also have a very difficult time developing emotional-sexual bonds. they forgo romance and partnership and instead they seek sexually dominant and often emotionally/psychologically manipulative and physically abusive men who will feed their ever growing appetite to replay their earlier abuse. the subs become psychologically/co-dependently attached to these dominant types and the abuse they get, giving up the larger and ever growing need for an emotionally fulfilling relationship. perhaps they find the emotional bond in the dominant type, but that is unlikely since the dominants are also replaying their own psycho-sexual drama--having themselves being abused, sexually or emotionally, and having being forced to take a dominant role or having being bullied by dominant parent figures and witnessing the abuse of siblings and loved ones... they now take control by being the abuser. and, in reality, the submissive only sees a dominant abusive type as a real man, a real top -- any other man is less than that ... although they seek emotional bond, they cannot respect a man who treats them affectionately--such a man is not a real man, not a real top!
these sub/dom types often end-up feeling and ever growing loneliness and unhappiness (a growing hunger for fulfillment) if they do not overcome their deviant psycho-sexual roles; they end up seeking more extreme experiences to fill their loneliness to the point that a "healthy" emotional/sexual bond seems too tame and dissatisfying--and they end up trapped in their lonely search for thesexual thrill.