LookerQ LookerQG

... so lately I've been having these thoughts, daydreams really; uncontrollable daydreams that pop into my head and for a few seconds, and sometimes a bit longer, take me off into these fantasies about this one guy ... they range from the very romantic to the very pornographic, from hardcore sex to very sweet fantasies ... what's disturbing is that they seem to have a life of their own ... they come and go as if with a will of their own ... and sometimes I catch myself and it's like what the fuck ...I could be typing the day's schedule and boom, suddenly I'm replaying some past moment except this time it turns into a very hardcore porn scene where I'm fucking this guy real hard, or some romantic scene where I'm kissing him sweetly all over ... and I laugh at myself because, well, I'm not 15 you know ... absurd? sweet? ridiculous? romantic? ... you be the judge ...

There's nothing sadder than to watch an unhappy man trapped in a prison of his own doing; miserable in his prison yet defending it tooth and nail, afraid of what freedom might bring ... and the vultures  feeding off him, attracted by the stench of his fear ...

love longing lust  senses pleasures conquest desire seduction satisfaction

one day -- desire two day -- seduction three day -- desire four day --reflection five day -- forgetfulness six day -- desire seven day -- seduction

move up, down, left, right with or against gravity at rest or in motion, force or resistance conscious movement or the lack of it ... thought {passion/desire} --the forces that moves us; however, conscious movement will often trigger resistance-- resistance in others, and more often in ourselves yet conscious movement is the only choice if the goal is fulfillment; or go with the flow and let circumstances pave your road if regret and dissatisfaction are your final destination. the inner journey is already in motion ... time and place are but mere happenstance.

"Faith is the belief that the best is yet to come; fear is the death of faith -- it's to live as if buried alive." Another year starts .. have had time to reflect on how I want to move from here on ...  what things to pursue, what things to take with me, and especially, what things to leave behind on my journey ... Practice forgiveness Be grateful for all people and things that are good in my life Be compassionate to those around me Pursue honesty in all relationships: be honest with myself and with other and expect no less Bring back joy and passion to my life: pursue the things that bring me joy; seek fulfilling, passionate relationships and romance Leave fears behind and those who create it ... life is good ... what is there to fear? Cherish those people in my life who are open and joyful and and passionate and who I can grow with in this journey ... who are open or are willing to be open to life and passion and new experiences ... Break unhealthy tie...

have you ever, ever ever have you ever seen yourself? have you ever? have you ever, ever have you seen the light in living body have you ever? all light and light and flowing water have you ever? have you ever seen your light reflected in another's light have you ever ... ?