How does a narcissist typically react when ...
How does a narcissist typically react when one of his intended victims stands up to him?
Marlene Matlock, former Assistant Professor in Nutrition & Home Economics at California State University, Fresno (1979-1984)
Updated Jul 5
I can tell you from my experience of being married 47 years to a mentally disordered Covert NPD/ASPD that when I stood up to him he shocked me with his response. It is called RAGE! A rage is when they get up into you face yelling at you for whatever offense they felt you made.
I had no clue what or why he was doing this to me. I told my husband I believed he was not telling me the truth about something. He quickly rushed up to my face in an angry tone and told me, “I have never lied a day in my life!!! Who do you think you are accusing me of lying??? I am not the problem here but I know who is…YOU ARE THE LIAR!!!!” What? I was totally confused and terrified of his behavior which I had never seen ever in our relationship. He was always mellow and chilled out type of guy. I was totally shocked at his behavior. I was dumbfounded that he would treat me that way. And this was the beginning of our life with his rages when I would call him out on something he did that was totally inappropriate. I consider these rages just like two-year-old temper tantrums all done to control me to how he believes and thinks I should behave. It is also a way for me to determine if he was lying. If I asked him a question and he raged then I knew he was lying.
What I eventually realized with his rages was they were just two-year-old Temper Tantrums that he exploded so he could control me and have me not question what he did in his life. They are demeaning and cruel. After repeated rages you begin to “walk on eggshells” because you never know where and when these rages will occur. You had to watch what you said and how you treated him because the rages were terrifying.
When I tried telling my family and friends about them, they supported him because all they ever saw was his “Mask of Perfection” in their lives. I suffered in silence for many years because I could never get anyone to help me understand his behavior. You need to understand they will do anything to keep you from confronting them about their behavior. They are riddled with insecurities and they actually loathe themselves. They are not worth the risk of standing up to them and telling them they acted inappropriately. In the end, you could end up hurt, injured and possibly killed. They are not worth it!
Marlene Matlock, former Assistant Professor in Nutrition & Home Economics at California State University, Fresno (1979-1984)
Updated Jul 5
I can tell you from my experience of being married 47 years to a mentally disordered Covert NPD/ASPD that when I stood up to him he shocked me with his response. It is called RAGE! A rage is when they get up into you face yelling at you for whatever offense they felt you made.
I had no clue what or why he was doing this to me. I told my husband I believed he was not telling me the truth about something. He quickly rushed up to my face in an angry tone and told me, “I have never lied a day in my life!!! Who do you think you are accusing me of lying??? I am not the problem here but I know who is…YOU ARE THE LIAR!!!!” What? I was totally confused and terrified of his behavior which I had never seen ever in our relationship. He was always mellow and chilled out type of guy. I was totally shocked at his behavior. I was dumbfounded that he would treat me that way. And this was the beginning of our life with his rages when I would call him out on something he did that was totally inappropriate. I consider these rages just like two-year-old temper tantrums all done to control me to how he believes and thinks I should behave. It is also a way for me to determine if he was lying. If I asked him a question and he raged then I knew he was lying.
What I eventually realized with his rages was they were just two-year-old Temper Tantrums that he exploded so he could control me and have me not question what he did in his life. They are demeaning and cruel. After repeated rages you begin to “walk on eggshells” because you never know where and when these rages will occur. You had to watch what you said and how you treated him because the rages were terrifying.
When I tried telling my family and friends about them, they supported him because all they ever saw was his “Mask of Perfection” in their lives. I suffered in silence for many years because I could never get anyone to help me understand his behavior. You need to understand they will do anything to keep you from confronting them about their behavior. They are riddled with insecurities and they actually loathe themselves. They are not worth the risk of standing up to them and telling them they acted inappropriately. In the end, you could end up hurt, injured and possibly killed. They are not worth it!