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spent time with a very lonely friend today -- it was his birthday -- he complained about his loneliness to me but at the same time talked about his constant search for sexual satisfaction and described what appeared to be his near helplessness when offered sex ... sex is his palliative for loneliness, sadness, depression, lack of closeness, lack of relationship ... it made me wonder if this is a typical thing for many gay men who, after having been abused as children either sexually or otherwise, found sexual gratification an escape ... he is not the only one I know who fits this category .... for so many gay men I've met, sex is a way to connect to people yet remain disconnected ... The Fourteen Characteristics of a Sexual Compulsive These are the characteristics most seem to have in common: As adolescents, we used fantasy and compulsive masturbation to avoid feelings , and continued this tendency into our adult lives with compulsive sex. Compulsive sex b...

The cycle of violence in domestic abuse Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence: Abuse – Your abusive partner lashes out with aggressive, belittling, or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show you "who is boss." Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior. Excuses  – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior —anything to avoid taking responsibility. "Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time. Fantasy and planning – Your abuser ...